there's a human being in my stomach

That's exactly what was going on in my mind as the jelly covered monitor was pressing into my belly. It took the doctor a few seconds to pick up the heartbeat, but once she did Shawn and I could both hear it loudly and clearly.

"Holy moly," I thought. "I'm pregnant. And there's a human being with a beating heart in my stomach. Right this minute."

Maybe because this baby was a surprise, or maybe because we weren't in every week from 6-10 weeks along for spotting, but this pregnancy is kind of taking awhile to sink in. I mean - I'm sick, I'm all poochy (as in my stomach), I'm looking at diaper bags and double strollers online...it's not like I'm denying I'm pregnant.

But hearing that heartbeat made this pregnancy real in a way that nothing else could. Our baby already has fingers and toes. Fingers and toes!

And holy cow, I only have two more weeks until I'm done with the first trimester. I don't know if you realize this, but after the first trimester comes the second, after which comes the third. After THAT...comes the baby. Are we even remotely ready for this?! As with my pregnancy with Jude, I'm finding that I need to just calm down, take deep breaths, and take life one. day. at. a time.

So for today, ladies and gentlemen, there is a human being in my stomach.