i need to ask you to do something

My heart is so heavy right now, I'm struggling to find words, so I apologize for this post being a little short. I need to ask you to pray for our friends. Matt and Patrice are an amazing young couple who are a part of my Sunday School class and are also Youth Leaders. We were just beginning to get to know them towards the end of Patrice's first pregnancy when she discovered that her baby boy had passed away in utero. Shawn and I watched them grieve with amazing faith and we quickly came to respect and admire their authenticity and steadfastness. Later, Patrice discovered she was pregnant again, and she gave birth yesterday. A beautiful baby boy was born, but he was born with Epidermolysis Bullosa, a skin condition that leaves much of his skin raw.

I'm not sure if we can explain why exactly, but Shawn and I are shaken to the core by this and our hearts are so heavily burdened. I want to just wrap my arms around Patrice and not let go. I want to take some of their burden and carry it for awhile. I want to touch Jonah's skin and make it not hurt so Patrice can hold her son. My heart literally aches for them.

So please, check out their blog: http://patriceandmattwilliams.blogspot.com/ and more importantly, pray...please pray for their family.

doctor's appointment

Just a quick update to let ya'll know that Jude's appointment on Tuesday was encouraging. He'd gained a pound in a week, which was twice what the doctor expected...yay Jude! He was 11.5 lbs and 23 inches long. He went from being in the 7th percentile to being in the 14th, which was very exciting news! So we're still trying to feed him as much as possible, but it's super encouraging to see his weight creeping up to where it should be.

I saw this gadget on the news the other day for your car. When your check engine light comes on, you just plug it into the car and it reads out codes for what is wrong. Then you get online, find out what those codes mean, and voila - your car is diagnosed! For just $80 from Black and Decker, you can find out if there's just a problem with the circuit or if your car is going to fall apart the next time you drive it. Oh, how I wish this gadget would also work for babies. Could you imagine? In my mind, it would look similar to a thermometer. You just scan the baby's forehead and within seconds a read out displays, "change my diaper," "please feed me," or even "take me to the ER now!" To the best of my knowledge, no such gadget exists, so we're often left with more questions than answers and the best guesses educated diagnosis of very expensive doctors.

Jude had gained nine ounces at his appointment on Tuesday, putting him at 10lbs 11oz. I would've like to have seen him weigh more...something like 12 or 13 lbs perhaps, but I know that nine ounces is pretty stellar for a week's time. This takes him from being in the 3rd percentile to the 7th. Our Doctor seemed to think mine and Jude's sickness was most likely the cause of his weight loss. Right before I'd gotten sick I had just started thinking that I was being a bit paranoid about this whole germ thing. I decided that I was kind of an antibacterial nazi, and I was a bit tired of asking if people were sick before allowing them to hold Jude and seeing the world as one big germ. I guess it turns out my germaphobe instincts were actually right on the money and were a part of my larger instinct to protect my baby.

Our Doctor started to send us to have Jude tested for cystic fibrosis. In most cases of failure to thrive (Yes, he was diagnosed with "failure to thrive," which makes my heart sink to just type. My sweet boy was failing to thrive when it was my job to make him thrive. It might as well be termed, "failure to feed your baby enough."), cystic fibrosis is suspected. We have good friends who went through something similar to this with their son, Miles, so I knew our Doctor might suspect this. Thankfully, though, I was tested for cystic fibrosis in pregnancy (I'm not a carrier), and Jude had a metabolic test done at birth that showed he is also not a carrier. As such, we didn't have to worry about putting him through that testing procedure.

However, Jude was diagnosed with GER. He spits up quite a bit, has sour smelling breath after he spits up, he arches his back when he's done feeding and is difficult to burp, he wakes up from naps crying often, he swallows his spit up sometimes and makes a face like he just sucked on a lemon, and he cries fairly regularly for no known cause. I thought some of these things were attributed to him being hungry (which they may still have), but after a week of feeding him very often, I noticed the symptoms continued to persist. Our Doctor prescribed Zantac and told us to mix rice cereal in with any bottles of expressed breast milk we gave him. Apparently this thickens the milk, making it less likely to be spit up. It will also give Jude some extra calories. The Doctor didn't seem to think Jude's acid reflux had anything to do with his weight loss, but everything I'm reading on the web says that weight loss or extreme weight gain are symptoms (Doctors probably loathe the phrase, "I read on the internet...")Some babies eat a lot because the milk is soothing to their throats, and some babies don't eat because it causes pain. Jude is a fussy eater for probably two or three feedings of the day (usually in the afternoon/evening). I thought that perhaps he had gas, but after watching him more closely, I think it's because of the reflux. Chances are good that he's not getting as much to eat during those feedings as he should. Hopefully the Zantac will work and he'll be able to eat without pain and continue gaining weight.

Through this, I've been really impressed with the Doctors' attitudes about breastfeeding. They both asked me if I was breastfeeding, and when I answered that I was, they both responded, "Good." I was afraid we'd be supplementing with formula at this point, but thankfully we're not. It's not easy, though. Jude's back to waking up often at night to eat. I'm glad - he needs the calories - but it's tiring to get so little sleep once again and then have to go to work. I can't tell you how many nights I've been nursing Jude at 3:00am and saying to myself, "that's it. we're giving him formula at night from here on out. i cannot take this anymore." So I'm setting mini-goals for myself. We have another appointment on Tuesday, February 24th to check Jude's weight again, and that is my next breastfeeding goal. I'm not opposed to formula - especially if Jude needed those calories for his health. But I know that breastmilk is what is best for him (especially with reflux), and I so desperately want to give him the best. I want to give him the best more than I even want sleep...most of the time, anyway. ;)

Through all of this, Jude has turned into the "smiliest" kid I've ever seen! No stranger or friend is unworthy of his grin, and I have to admit that making him smile is my new favorite hobby. Sometimes he laughs at me and Shawn like we're the funniest people in the whole wide world, and we're not about to tell him otherwise! In fact, I just went to get Jude up from a nap. He was laying there, all swaddled up and precious. All I said was, "Hey bug!" (a shortened form of the nickname judeabug) and his face broke out into a huge grin - which made me giggle - which made him giggle - which made me giggle even harder - which made him...well, you get the picture.

I think he actually looks like my Uncle Paul in this picture.

Jude's new favorite toy!

When Shawn took Jude into work on Friday, a friend of ours - who is also a professional photographer snapped these:

weight and worry

I took Jude to our pediatrician yesterday morning because I thought he may have gotten either the cold I just finished up with, or the repiratory infection I'd had a couple of weeks ago. When they weighed him, we discovered that he hadn't gained any weight since his last appointment a month ago. He went from being average weight a birth to being in the 25th percentile at two months to being in the 5th percentile now (at three months). My heart sank when the Doctor graphed his weight and I realized he hadn't grown. What am I doing wrong? My mind immediately ran back over all the times I thought Jude was crying because he was tired and wondered how much of that was because he was hungry. That my precious son could've been hungry and I didn't feed him was heartbreaking. So...they took a urine sample and blood test to see if anything seemed strange. The blood test was brutal. I guess his vein rolled when they tried the first time, so another nurse had to come in and take the blood from the other arm. I was a mess as I watched them try for the second time. Not only am I starving my child, but he has to be in pain, too.

The blood test came back normal but it did show that he has a virus - most likely the cold I had. The urine test also came back normal and showed that Jude is well hydrated. We had a chest x-ray taken later that day, which also was normal.

The doctor seemed to think his plateau in weight is because I've been sick and stressed out - possibly causing a supply drop, and Jude has been sick - accounting for a drop in appetite. I've also learned that babies usually plateau in weight a little when they start sleeping through the night - which Jude did at about nine weeks old. Perhaps the combination and timing of these three things has caused Jude's lack of weight gain. We made an appointment for Monday to re-weigh Jude and see where he's at. Until then, I'm nursing Jude as often as he'll eat and am weighing him with our home scale every morning. I'll update more as I know more.

pittsburgh's gone to the superbowl

Thanks to a pretty nasty cold, Jude's sudden desire to wake up two or three times in the middle of the night, and my official return to work all coinciding in one gloriously messy week - I'm slightly behind in posting the pictures of our fun SuperBowl weekend. First of all, if you have a minute or two, you should check out this song. It won't leave your head for at least a week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3uiCRr3dGE

Last weekend our little family took its very first road trip together! On Friday, we fed Jude his last feeding of the day (at around 7:30), did a quick version of his bedtime routine, and took off to Shawn's Nan's house - approximately three hours away. Jude did great for the trip - the only time we heard a peep out of him was when we were driving through the mountains. I think his ears were hurting a bit as they were popping. Once at Nan's, we put Jude to sleep in a Pack & Play and visited with Shawn's Mom, sister, and Grandmother. Jude's been sleeping in his own crib for at least a month now, so we weren't sure how he would do with sleeping in the same room as his parents. He actually slept like a rock when we climbed into bed, though he woke up at 3:00am - a habit he decided to continue for the rest of the trip.


The next morning we all got ready, ate a delicious breakfast made only as a Gramma can make, and took off for Ohio. It was about a six hour drive (including a stop to eat lunch), and Jude did relatively well. We had to stretch two of his feedings longer than three hours...and he let us know he wasn't pleased. Still - he only cried when we first got into the car and when he was hungry. Not too shabby!


As I'm sure you can imagine - life has been hectic for Shawn and I lately. He's an amazing husband and we have a solid marriage, but a good majority of our conversations lately have been business - when did Jude eat last? what's going on at work? what's your schedule like tomorrow? when do you want to grocery shop? do you need me to do the laundry today?- I'm sure you've been there, too. We've always loved taking road trips together, but this trip seemed especially sweet. It was wonderful to sit and just talk. Neither of us had to be anywhere, neither of us was distracted by a fussy infant, and we were able to just talk. We talked about Jude of course, about work, about dreams, about fears, about memories...and I dare say that I love that man more today than the day we were married. I'm forever grateful that we were friends before we were ever attracted to each other - and I was reminded on our road trip what a great friend I have in Shawn.


Alright - enough of the gushing. We got in on Saturday evening and Jude got to meet his Aunt Aubrey, Uncle Jason, and cousins. That night, Jude once again woke up at 3:00am. Actually, I think he woke up several times that night. We now know that he was gearing up for a growth spurt. He wasn't hungry - just getting ready to be! Sunday morning was...yes...SuperBowl Day! Shawn held Jude in bed before we got ready for church and watched the pre-game coverage. It was early and his excitement might not evident - but Shawn was REALLY looking forward to the game:

Jude fussed a little at church, but Shawn took care of him and got him to sleep with relative ease. (Getting Jude to sleep is never easy...but we count a few screams and angry kicks as relatively easy). Right now, church is one of the most difficult things for me. Shawn's obviously busy on Sundays, so I'm pretty much by myself in the care of Jude. That's not a big deal - except that our pediatrician doesn't want us to put him in the nursery until cold/flu season is over (he says mid-March, I'm thinking beginning of March). So I keep Jude with me in service. In order to sit with Shawn during the sermon, we sit in the front, allowing for a quick entrance and exit for Shawn from the stage. Since Jude cries every single time he sleeps, he inevitably starts wailing at some point. I know it's probably only my paranoia, but I feel like every eye in the room zooms in on me and my crying baby. Whether they're thinking I'm a bad Mom, Jude's a cute baby, that I should just put him in the nursery, or just wondering what that noise was...I worry that I cause a huge distraction. And then I worry that I cause a huge distraction when I have to get up and leave because Jude's crying has gotten too loud. All of that to say that it was nice to let Shawn take care of Jude. He actually got Jude to sleep without having to leave, but he let Jude cry a bit more than I had been. It made me realize that I might be a more worried about what people think than I ought. Perhaps it's okay if Jude cries for a minute or so in the service.

Anyway- so after church came a plethora of pre-game preparations! And then...it was game time! Shawn's entire family are Steelers fans, and they were all super excited. Well, except for Austin who is a Browns fan. He abstained from wearing any Steeler paraphernalia in protest.

Emily, Adrianna, Austin (holding Jude), Noah, and Caleb getting ready for the game.

The family cooked massive amounts of food and we thoroughly enjoyed spending time with everyone. Shawn's Mom got plenty of smiles out of Jude, and he looked like he was having a ball!


Shawn, Jude, and Heather preparing for kick-off.

...and Jude by the end of the first quarter. He unfortunately wasn't able to stay up for the whole game, but he enjoyed watching the Steelers play for a little bit, anyway. We got up on Monday morning and took off for home. We took Shawn's Nan back home with us (well...we took her to her home, which is on the way back to Winston-Salem). I know Shawn really loved having some bonus time with his Grandmother, and I enjoyed getting to spend more time with her as well. On both ends of the trip we got to see snow - beautiful snow! Us North Carolinians only see a few flakes each season, so I was beyond excited to see the white stuff!

I mentioned Jude's growth spurt, which seemed to have lasted about a week. Those days of going twelve hours between feedings have vanished. However - it's always fun to see him growing right before our eyes when he goes through those spurts. His little legs look like they got almost twice as long! I'm really hoping he gets his Daddy's height, so I was encouraged to see him getting longer. Because he was sleeping for so long, I had also spent some time worrying about he weight and if he was getting enough food. He's a small baby (25th percentile at his last appointment), and I worried about any drop off in weight. Seeing him go through this growth spurt helped me realized that if he's hungry - he'll let us know! He's sleeping longer with each passing night, so I'm hoping that he'll soon return to sleeping straight through until 7:30 in the morning.

So Jude has officially experienced his first SuperBowl AND he's officially seen his first snow. It was a big weekend for the kid!

picture time!

I have several pictures that I've been meaning to share, so I thought I would throw them all into one post. Sorry it's just pictures, but let's be honest - I know you only come here to see pictures of the little guy - you can't fool me!


Jude's two month shots and manly Garfield band-aids.

Trying to get a picture of his latest endeavor...sucking his thumb.

Personally, I think he's looking more and more like Shawn!

The one picture I took while my Mom was here. Sad...I know!

More attempts at getting a thumb sucking picture

It's hard to tell, but he actually is sucking his thumb. It's cuter with the noises he makes. :)

"Maybe if I can get this fist up to here...and then maybe I can stick that thumb out...and then I could maybe open my mouth..."


The left hand is the assurance that the sneaky thumb will stay in there!

in sickness and in health

I was quite the sight to behold on Monday morning. I was sick. I was tired. I had bags under my eyes. I was wearing the same pajamas I'd worn all day on Sunday and I hadn't taken a shower since Saturday morning. My hair was up in a slept-in ponytail. You know what I'm talking about - kind of bunched up at top with the stringy strands falling oh so gracefully around my face. And just like icing on top of a beautiful cake, I had fresh spit up running down my left shoulder. I was changing Jude's diaper and he was screaming loudly - although I was in that sick person zombie trance that causes everything around you to be very, very fuzzy- so his screaming wasn't particularly bothering me. In case you need a visual, I looked something like this:



This was the sight upon which Shawn walked this past Monday morning. My sweet, dear husband only said, "I think you should call the Doctor today."

I was sick this past weekend, and let me assure you that it is not easy being sick and taking care of an infant. Thankfully, Shawn made me take a trip to the Doctor on Monday morning (I thought for sure it was just a very nasty cold that I'd get over), where I guess I was diagnosed with a respiratory infection...she was kind of vague. All that mattered to me, though, was that she was prescribing antibiotics which would hopefully equal health soon! I've been on the antibiotic for 24 hours now, and I feel pretty much back to normal. I'm now just waiting for the inevitable sickness of my husband and child, which promises to be even less fun than being sick myself. Oh well, I suppose it had to happen at some point, huh? I'm very grateful for my amazing husband who took care of the house, made me hot tea, and forced my stubborn butt to the Doctor's office.

On a much, much better note, I am very excited to announce that Jude has slept through the night for almost two weeks now. I hesitated posting this information on the blog because I had this weird notion that as soon as I put my excitement in writing, he would go right back to sleeping three or four hours. So - if we have a rough night tonight - just know that I will place the blame on you, the reader of this blog. It would appear that while Jude is very sweet natured, he also has a stubborn streak and when he decides he's going to do something, he does it! At his age, "sleeping through the night," is usually characterized by six or seven hours...eight if you're a lucky duck. Jude sleeps for about ten and a half hours and goes about twelve hours between feedings. So if his last feeding was at 7:30pm (as it usually is), I can expect him to wake up between 7:00 and 7:30am the next morning. He started doing this the night before I started back to work, as if to say, "Mommy probably needs some rest now, I think I'll start sleeping through the night." Whatever the case, we were very excited and you can bet that my butt is in bed by at least 11:00pm every night so I can get a full, glorious eight hours.

And on an even better note still, Shawn and I are headed up to Ohio this weekend for a quick trip to see his family! Since the Steelers are in the SuperBowl, Shawn apparently has what I can only describe as a man-need to watch the game with like-minded fans. When the Steelers were last in the SuperBowl, we watched the game in our apartment in North Carolina and made pierogis (It's basically potato stuffed pasta. I've learned that the people in Shawn's hometown area can do amazing things with potatoes). I did my best to be enthusiastic about the game, but it was probably evident that my knowledge about football is marginal. I take that back - I actually know quite a bit, I just don't care about football all that much. Still - I tried to get riled up for Shawn's sake. So after watching the Steelers in the SuperBowl with me, Shawn's rightly deduced that it would be much more fun to watch the game with his family. I can't necessarily understand this man-need of his, but I'm all for it since it means time with family! I'm excited for Jude to meet his Aunts Aubrey and Heather and his cousins...and maybe to even see snow! I'm a little nervous about driving so long with a potentially screamy, fussy infant, but the excitement of getting to see Shawn's family far outweighs any crying we might have to endure!

Grammy and Aunt Rachael's visit!

My mom and sister decided to come down for a few days to visit with the newest addition to the Pohlman family! They ventured from the ice covered roads of Indiana, through the snow covered mountains of West Virginia, and ever so thoughtfully brought that cold air with them! They had to cut their trip short because of predicted icy roads on the way back, but I absolutely loved having them here. Both Shawn and I have always been thoroughly independent and neither of us have had a difficult time with moving away from our families...until now. I miss our families - particularly my mom - and am on a campaign to get my parents and siblings to move down here. :) So far, no luck! My sister was the first of Jude's aunts or uncles for him to meet. Mom and Rachael watched Jude one night while Shawn and I had a date, and Rach said Jude looked at her like, "You kind of look like my Mommy. You kind of sound like my Mommy - but something is just not quite right."

Actually, I realized for the first time that Jude knows me, he actually knows me. When my Mom held him and I was talking, Jude turned his head to see where I was. If he was crying in the stroller, my face calmed him down (for about two seconds - until he remembered that he was mad again). What a great feeling to see that he knows my voice and recognizes my face!

I haven't taken Jude out a whole lot beyond a quick trip between his feedings - it's always seemed like it's not worth the nightmare of timing his feedings/finding a place to feed him/deal with his crying in public, etc. It's tough enough to get our butts to church every Sunday in one piece, and I just haven't really wanted to venture out for an entire day. I figured that I may as well take the leap while I had Mom and Rachael with me to help. So we did a day of shopping! I used our stroller for the first time, which was surprisingly easy to use. I nursed and changed Jude in the nursing room at the mall (thanks to Shantel - I would've never known there was a nursing room at the mall!), which was also surprisingly easy. The only real difficulty was calming Jude down when he started fussing in a store. This wasn't such a big deal in the mall - it was loud enough that he wasn't a huge bother to others, and I could easily take him out of stores. When he started crying at Starbucks and Edward McKay's however, I had to deal with dirty looks from annoyed people. It was freezing outside, so I couldn't take him out of the store until he fell asleep. Any advice on how to deal with an infant's melt down in public?

My mom also got to witness Jude's first forays into splashing in the tub! Shawn's been trying to teach him to splash for weeks, and Jude finally figured out how to splash with his legs - and boy was he pleased! His little frog legs were going wild in the tub and his eyes got big as he realized how much fun it was! The visit from Mom and Rachael went by all together too quickly, and I was sad to see them have to leave. I'm looking forward, though, to visiting with them again in May. I wish I had some great pictures to share with you, but I was so wrapped up in visiting that I completely forgot to whip out the camera. Next time, I promise!

we have smiles!

Jude is getting this smiling thing down pat! Good thing, too - he's got a cute one. His favorite toy right now is his Baby Einstein playmat, so I thought I'd include a few pictures of him smiling there.

That baby in the mirror IS pretty funny.

I've begun playing a game with Jude that results in huge smiles from both of us. It involves Jude laying on his back while I put my face close enough to his that he can reach out and touch me. Jude kicks his little legs and swings his little hands until he can figure out how to touch my mouth, which is when I basically smother his hand in kisses. While he hasn't made much of a noise yet, he throws his head back and the smiles pretty much overtake his face. Go ahead and make fun, but seriously - it's the best fifteen minutes of my day.

Along those same lines, he's getting better about learning hand/eye coordination and is getting pretty good at reaching what he's trying to get. Shawn will set Jude on his lap and put his hand out, palm up - slightly to the left of Jude. Jude will reach out and "high-five" Shawn. Then Shawn will put his right hand up, and after a few tries, Jude will high-five Shawn's right hand. He'll keep switching hands for a good ten to fifteen minutes and Jude will eventually get to where he can get the switched hand the first time. I think that kind of coordination might be a little bit advanced for his age, but I'm not sure.

I seem to have a lot of people asking me how cloth diapering is going lately. My theory is that they thought we'd give up after a month, so they're asking to see if they were right. I'm pretty proud to report that cloth diapering is still going really well. Jude is in cloth diapers all the time except at night (so we don't have to change him in the middle of the night, hopefully encouraging him to sleep through the night) and occasionally when we're out (though we're keeping him in cloth more and more even in those cases). In his two months of life, we've had to buy one pack of newborn diapers. Right now, he's in size One diapers and we've been using the same pack for at least two weeks now- and we're only halfway through it. You can imagine that my thrifty little heart just beams at those savings! Because he's also not using formula, the only thing we buy on a regular basis for him is wipes. We bought an economy pack several weeks ago, but once we go through those, I think I might try to make wipes. You can bet that Shawn will think I'm crazy for doing so, but he's always excited about the money I'm able to save. I've not found that washing the diapers is particularly annoying, at least not yet. They wash completely clean (the poo of breastfed babies is water soluble, so it just dissolves and there's no trace of poop in the washing machine at all - I promise!) and since it's been too rainy to hang them up outside, I hang them on the back of our kitchen chairs for a few hours and they're good to go. At this point, I think I wash diapers twice a week - though I think that will lessen once he's big enough to be in the diapers Mama and Papa Maurer bought him, we have several more of those than we have of the ones I made.

I'm also extremely proud to report that breastfeeding is going well. It really did get ten times easier at six weeks, and seems to only get less painful as each week passes. I think my biggest complaint right now is that I'm not getting much sleep. A couple of times a week, Shawn will feed him a bottle of pumped milk so that I can sleep a bit longer in the mornings, but I'm still operating on about four (he DID sleep for six hours two nights in a row and we're working on getting back to that schedule) hours of sleep a night. Let me clarify - I know this is a lot more than many moms of infants this age are getting. I'm grateful for the sleep that I do get, but two months of sleep deprivation can get to a girl! My friend Monica told me that she made it through her daughter's first three months of life by repeating the mantra, "To everything there is a season, and this too shall pass." While I love everything else about this stage, I've found myself repeating Monica's mantra to myself on many a sleepless night. Soon enough, he'll be sleeping through the night, and all I'll remember about this stage was the first smiles he shared with me.

While I'm completely rambling, can I just say how much more respect I have for mothers of boys? I was so frustrated with Jude one night - all he wanted to do was be held and cuddled by me, and all I wanted to do was be held and cuddled by my pillow and blankets. I couldn't imagine why the heck he wanted to be held so badly. My mind suddenly flashed forward to thirteen years from now when this same little boy will utter a grumpy "fine," in response to my queries about school that day and jet straight to his stinky teenage boy bedroom, only to emerge for dinner three hours later. I felt Jude's one arm around my neck, and the other arm securely tucked under his body. I felt his feet curled up tightly and listened to his breathing. I was reminded that he wanted to be held because he felt safe with his Mom. Realistically, I only have a few more years of cuddling my son before he morphs into an independent little man. I look forward to seeing him becoming a man, I look forward to watching his relationship with Shawn grow, and I look forward to helping him learn the difference between real men and adult males who act like boys. I genuinely do look forward to him maturing, but for now...my little boy needs me.

I make him feel safe. And I will not take that for granted.

cradle c"r"ap

I had written about Jude's fascination and ongoing conversations with the sign above his changing table. I thought you'd like to see how animated he is -

His little arms and legs go crazy when he's smiling at his sign.

"Oh sign, only you understand me."

Jude had his two month well check-up today! This check up included the dreaded shots, and I found myself a little anxious as we left for the appointment. He was weighed first (10 lbs, 4 oz), measured (21.5 inches), and his head circumference was measured (15 something inches, I think). Our doctor told us that Jude's in the 25th percentile for his height and weight (he's in normal range and most breastfed babies are in the lower percentiles until they start solid food).

His head, however, is in the 75th percentile. Dr. Rogers assured us that this is also absolutely normal and looks great. You have to realize, however, that Shawn has been making fun of me for my big head since we've been dating. His amusement was further fueled when he saw toddler pictures of me and realized that I've always had a rather large head. Please know that his jokes are completely out of love and that I don't take them personally - I suppose my head IS pretty roundish. That being said - Shawn has been telling Jude for weeks now that he has his mother's head. It would appear that Shawn was right! Personally, I think toddlers with large heads are adorable. :)

Jude also has something funky going on with his belly button - I think it's a herniated belly button, actually. The doctor said that's perfectly normal and that it'll end up being an innie. In the meantime, it's kind of like a thermometer...the more angry he gets the more it pokes straight out! Since it's nothing serious, it's pretty amusing to us.

I suppose I should explain why I've titled this blog Cradle Crap, huh? As of late, Jude's developed a case of cradle cap, which is just basically baby dandruff and is pretty typical in infants. Perhaps it's my lack of sleep...perhaps it's pregnancy brain still run amuck...perhaps I'm just a doofus...but I cannot seem to say "Cradle Cap." No matter how hard I try, "Cradle Crap" is what comes out! Ah well - the doctor says baby oil and baby shampoo should take care of it. ;)

At the end of the visit, the time for Jude's shots had come. I let Shawn take Jude, watch him get stuck, and comfort him - I knew I'd probably cry just as hard as Jude if I did it. We were actually pretty surprised with how well Jude did. He cried a heartbreaking cry at first, but calmed down pretty quickly! He even has adorable Garfield bandaids to prove just how brave he was.

christmas, birthday, and new year's craziness

Thanks to all of you who are continuing to follow our journey from pregnancy to parenthood. I'm so sorry to have to move this blog from it's other location, but I desperately did not want to lose all of the posts I wrote as they contain so many memories for our family. As I was transferring all of those posts to this site, Shawn and I found ourselves fondly remembering some of the things we had completely forgotten about in our pregnancy. Seeing the positive on the pregnancy test seems like so long ago already!

Likewise, it seems as though every week since Jude's been born has flown by. I'm sorry that it's taken me awhile to update, we've had a lot going on around the Maurer house lately! So let's start with Christmas. Christmas Eve was a restful day for Shawn and I...we did our best to relax and really enjoy spending the holiday with our son. I made my Mom's world famous carmel corn, we had some egg nog, went to Pinedale's Christmas Eve service, and Shawn read "The Polar Express" to Jude for his bedtime story. After we put Jude down to sleep, Shawn and I enjoyed our carmel corn and watched "The Polar Express" together. Soon enough, we look forward to camping out in the living room to watch Christmas specials with our kid(s).

Jude getting ready for the Christmas Eve service in his cute new Christmas outfit.

...sleeping in heavenly peace

When we took his sweater off, he looked kind of like a native american warrior
Shawn reading Jude his Christmas Eve bedtime story

Shawn let me sleep in a little bit on Christmas morning and woke up to feed Jude his first morning feeding (which is usually anywhere between 6:00 and 7:00am). I woke up to feed Jude around 9:30am, we had breakfast as a family, and then it was time to get down to the present opening business! I had expected Jude to either sleep or cry through the opening of the presents, but he actually played contentedly on his Baby Einstein playmat. Shawn and I took turns opening his presents and showing them to Jude, who...to be quite honest...was a little more interested in his flashy star. Nonetheless, we had a blast opening his gifts! Jude (i.e. Shawn) especially loved his new Steelers jacket and warm up pants! It'll balance out his Bengals onsie nicely. :) Jude also got several adorable little outifts, some great toys, an umbrella stroller, a couple of very thoughtful books, a homemade hat, and several other thoughtful gifts for which we're so grateful.

Our little elf on Christmas morning.

My Christmas present to myself was getting to dress him up in this ridiculous, but oh-so-adorable Christmas day outift!

We had so much fun opening Jude's presents and can't thank our friends and family enough for thoroughly spoiling our son on his first Christmas! After we opened presents, I went for a run, and we enjoyed our sunny and warm North Carolina weather! We had dinner and then drove Jude around to look at Christmas lights (well, he slept in his carseat...but Shawn and I enjoyed the lights!).

My 27th birthday was December 30th, which seemed to sneak up on me this year. That morning, Shawn woke up early with Jude again, allowing me to get about six straight hours of sleep. Once I woke up, we went to breakfast at IHOP together, and Shawn headed into work while I enjoyed hanging out with Jude. We asked a friend from church to watch Jude for a few hours and Shawn and I enjoyed a much needed date! We had dinner at Noma, a new restaurant downtown, got some coffee, and walked around a bookstore for a little bit. I missed Jude terribly and was excited to head back home to see him, but I cannot express how refreshing it was to my heart to spend time away from being a Mom and enjoy being a Wife. I smiled and giggled and danced and bopped (yes, bopped), all of which seem like rare occurances when mixed in with diaper changes, the race to catch a few hours of sleep, dealing with screaming fits, and all of the other insanities of motherhood. After spending time alone with my sweet husband, I came home incredibly eager to see, hold, and kiss Jude!

Since we've been dating, Shawn and I typically go out for my birthday and stay in for New Year's, and this year was no exception! We enjoyed a slow paced, semi-restful night at home - watching movies and loving on our son. Jude went to bed around 9:30, but Shawn and I actually stayed up to say good-bye to 2008 and welcome 2009. So that, my friends, concludes our holiday craziness wrap up! Our holidays were especially meaningful this year, and I pray that you likewise enjoyed time with your loved ones!

December

12/10/08

our sweet baby boy...
I've kind of been putting off posting again because 1)Any spare time has been taken up with either sleeping, housework, or quality time with Shawn, and 2)I really have no idea where to start! Obviously our lives have changed drastically in the last month, and everyday seems to present its own ups and downs. If you talk to me one day, you'll probably get the sense that I'm chronically exhausted, frustrated, and at my wits end. Talk to me the next day, and I'll brag about how I got four straight hours of sleep, have been able to keep up with the house, and how great I feel.
But let me get to what I know is far more interesting to all of you (and me!). And that would be Jude, of course. :) Shawn and I have absolutely loved discovering his personality and figuring out how to be good parents to him. He's adorable, sweet, fiesty, and very, very alert. He seems to be pretty advanced for his age - rolling over already, focusing on objects well, grasping for hanging toys (and sometimes reaching them!), pushing himself up on his arms when he's on his tummy, holding his head up for 10 seconds at a time, and putting some of his weight on his straightened out legs. Of course, we think this is the most amazing thing in the world, but my rational self knows that all babies develop at their own rate and ours...while amazing...will most likely not be walking in the next week. ;)
We had some difficulties with getting Jude to sleep for several weeks - it seemed like he always, always, always had to fuss himself to sleep. He'd be exhausted (as would we!), and we would have tried absolutely everything to calm him down. However, he'd sleep only when he cried himself to the point of sheer exhaustion. We started letting him cry it out a little (which was a tough decision for me, especially at such a young age), and within a few days he could sleep in his crib with relative ease. He still has his rough days and nights, but overall it is getting easier. I'm learning that he's pretty sensitive to both sound and lights and will become more agitated if he's sleepy and is around a lot of noise (ie...the TV, a lot of people talking loudly, etc.). I'm not a big fan of shutting down the world just because your child is sleeping, so I tried to get him used to napping with noise, but have realized that he just sleeps better with the blinds drawn and relative quiet around him.
I'm also not a fan of sheltering your child from germs and thought I'd be even a bit aggressive about exposing Jude to germs...especially since he won't be in daycare. My thoughts were that I wanted to expose him to germs early so that he didn't encounter a ton of germs in pre-school and have to miss often. And once more, I have to eat my words about the kind of mother I thought I'd be! It turns out that Jude was born right at the beginning of cold/flu season, and it also turns out that if a newborn gets the cold or flu, it can be highly dangerous.
So, it's true...I've turned into that obnoxious mother who asks people to squirt Purell before handling their baby. I've learned that there is a time to expose your child to germs, and next year I will not be nearly as paranoid...but his immune system is not ready to handle this winter's germs and I'm realizing that I need to protect him as much as possible for now. I'm not ready to see Jude in the hospital with RSV or pneumonia...so hand santizer is our best friend!
Jude's been doing great with nursing. He's officially been a breastfed baby for a month now, which is exciting. It's not always been easy, but I've been told that if you can make it to 6 weeks then it becomes like second nature, so that is my goal (well, my ultimate goal is 9 months, or whenever he moves to solely solid food)! I love his little fat rolls that he has under his neck and on his arms. I love what Shawn calls his 'thunder thighs,' and I love that he recently put on a third chin. I love seeing him grow and knowing that God made my body capable of nourishing him -both in and out of my womb. He was gaining weight like a champ at his 2 week appointment, and I'm eager to see how his weight gain is looking at this 2 month appointment.
As you can see, I could write about this kid for hours, but it's getting close to Jude's time to eat. I'll do my best to post a little more often, but I have to be honest - if I have a choice between catching a nap or posting...I'm taking that nap!! :)

12/17/08

the sweetest sound...
Jude laughed the other day! I've been watching him constantly for signs of a smile that wouldn't be attributed to gas, so imagine my surprise when I not just saw a smile, but heard the sweetest "uh-UH!" that accompanied that smile. While short, I am nonetheless claiming that adorable little sound as an official laugh. What made our sweet little boy laugh, you may wonder? Well, Jude loves his changing table. Shawn and I have no idea what is so magical about it, but he's rarely fussy and loves to lay there and kick his arms and legs, surveying the world around him. Hanging right above the changing table is a brown sign with white words that read, "Peace, Love, Baby," by which Jude is fascinated. I've read that infants are drawn to starkly contrasting colors, so I assume that would be why he could stare at that picture all day long. Or perhaps he's contemplating the deeper meaning of those words...I guess we'll never know. At any rate, Jude's laugh was most decidedly directed toward his old friend, the Peace Love Baby sign. I'm trying to not be too jealous of the sign, and I tell myself that soon enough his laughter will be directed towards a funny face I make or an impression that Daddy does. For now, though, that changing table and esoteric sign are hilarious to my five week old.
Speaking of which, is it crazy to anyone else that Jude is already five weeks old? I tried to weigh him this morning (I weighed myself, then weighed myself holding him and subtracted the difference...not the most scientific method, but I have a hard time seeing his growth since I'm with him 24/7 and just needed some reassurance). According to our home scale, the kid weighs 9 pounds! He's getting good at rolling from his stomach to his back, but hasn't attempted the back to stomach feat yet. He's also holding his head up on his own for several minutes at a time. To my sheer pleasure, he's only waking up once (around 2:00 or 3:00am) to eat at night! This might mistakenly lead you to think that I'm getting lots of sleep, but don't be fooled. He takes until about 11:00pm to eat, and then feels the need to wail until about midnight. Still, just one night feeding is impressive for his age.
Now that Jude's outgrown the disposable newborn diapers we had, we're transitioning him to cloth diapers, which is going great! I still keep him in disposables at night and if we're going out, but he wears mostly cloth during the day. His little butt is at least two times bigger as compared to when he wears disposables, and he looks absolutely adorable! He had a pretty bad diaper rash that I couldn't get rid of - no matter how much cream I lathered on, that went away within two or three days of him wearing the cloth diapers. Right now, the extra laundry isn't too much of a pain in the butt, but I might be singing a different tune once I go back to work.
I think he's waking up from his nap, so mommyhood calls.

12/22/08

pictures!...
We were recently told about an acquaintance who wanted to broaden her photographic skills and needed some experience with an infant. Since we just so happened to have an infant on hand, we offered him up! She got some great shots of him, and Jude so kindly gave her the full infant experience (he peed on her blanket, needed to eat about halfway through, and cried for about forty-five minutes!). The photographer didn't charge us at all, and even uploaded the pictures to an online gallery and will be giving us a CD of all the pictures she took. Rather than trying to get the pictures uploaded on an album here, I thought I'd just post a link. You have the permission of the photographer to download/print/replicate the pictures as you wish!
http://gallery.me.com/flygirl76#100375

12/23/08

postpartum update...
So today is a big day! Jude is officially six weeks old, and I am officially six weeks postpartum...cheers all around! I have an appointment today, at which I'm hoping to be told that I am in the clear to exercise and once again -live a normal life! I have to confess, however, that I have gone running twice. I took it easy and only ran for three sets of five minutes, and my goodness, how great it felt! I seriously almost cried the first time I ran. I've been feeling a little bit down lately, and it was so wonderful and energizing to be out in the cool air, staring at the sky, and feeling the wind. It felt great to move my body again and not have to worry about my heart rate. I'm really, really looking forward to running on a consistent basis once again and am already looking to see when I could run a 5K again.
We had a rough several days with Jude, but he seems to be coming out of that. I think he was going through a growth spurt and he was eating every two hours...even throughout the night...and fussing a lot more than normal. I can't tell you how many times it got to 3:00am in the morning, and I seriously contemplated just giving up breastfeeding and doing formula. Thankfully, I didn't give in and he seems to be through his growth spurt and back to his 3 hour feeding schedule during the day and 4-5 hour schedule at night. In desperation, I actually called the lactation consultant from the hospital and was able to get some answers to a few questions I had. First of all, I found out that the 45 minutes to an hour it was taking me to nurse him didn't need to be that long. The LC said he could get everything he needed in 20-30 minutes. It's SO nice to not have to take an hour to nurse him everytime! 30 minutes seems like a breeze in comparison! I also found out that I have quite a bit of milk, judging by the color of Jude's poop (this disclaimer might be a little late, but if discussion about poop color and breastfeeding gross you out -skip down to the next paragraph). Basically, he wasn't getting enough hindmilk. So I now know that he only needs to feed on one side per feeding. This was a huge relief because I think every nursing mother worries that she doesn't have enough milk and her infant is starving. I was also being super paranoid about making sure I pumped every time he had a bottle so that my body would keep my milk supply adequate. While that's still a good idea if possible, it turns out that my plethora of milk would allow me to skip that occasionally (because I'm sound asleep, hopefully!) and not mess with my milk supply. Hooray! And finally, I learned that the hospital has a nursing mother's support group every other Thursday. I found a local La Leche League group, but they only meet one Wednesday a month, and I just haven't been able to attend. I'm seriously thinking about attending the Nursing Mother's group. I like that it's twice a month and since I'll be working from home on Thursdays, I'll be able to attend the group long-term. Even with the recent chaos of a growth spurt, nursing is going really well and definitely HAS gotten easier!
Jude is smiling a little bit more often and is able to play for longer periods of time by himself (15-20 minutes instead of 5-10). He actually smiled at me quite a bit this morning, which was the best thing in the world!
Shawn and I are really looking forward to our first Christmas with Jude! Thanks to friends and family who love him so much, underneath our tree is filled with presents for the kid! We've shown him snow on TV, and have told him that he probably won't ever see it in North Carolina, but that we promise that he'll get to see it when we travel for Thanksgiving. :) In the past couple of weeks, we've begun a bedtime routine of either giving him a bath or a baby massage, and then reading a book to him, swaddling him, praying with/for him, and then laying him down in his crib. Shawn's been reading Jude from Luke 2 about Jesus' birth. Perhaps it's just happenstance, but he seems to listen attentively. We like to think he identifies with Jesus' infanthood and inexperienced parents. :) My current favorite lullabye to sing to Jude is "Silent Night," simply because the irony makes me laugh in the wee hours of the night. It's fun to identify a little bit with what Mary and Joseph were going through in Jesus' early weeks. Granted, we have no idea what it's like to give birth to the Son of God, we have a nice cozy house to stay in as opposed to a stable, and poor Mary probably couldn't even fathom the joys of an epidural - but it's mind blowing to realize that Jesus was a helpless infant. He was gassy, he had a first smile, and he probably was excited when he learned to grab his feet or reach out and touch something. What an amazing thing that our Lord humbled himself to being an infant.
If He was anything like every other infant in the world, Mary and Joseph's nights were anything but silent and He was hardly "tender and mild." :)
So we don't really have any big Christmas traditions that we plan on implementing this year, but we're open for suggestions! Feel free to let us know any treasured Christmas traditions you may have from childhood or that you may have started with your children.
Growing up, my family always spent Christmas Eve at my Grandpa's with my Dad's side of the family in Cincinnati. I have so many memories of running around his house, playing in his basement, and waiting on Aunt Mary and Uncle Mike to arrive so we could open the presents. The kids would take turns first, opening one present at a time. The stockings were always my favorite. I'm sure mine was filled with Bonne Belle chapstick and glittery nail polish (from my Grandpa, but he left the gift buying to my much more tween saavy Aunt Mary), and those little things made me so happy. :) Actually, I haven't changed too much...Shawn usually just fills my stocking with chocolate instead of glittery nail polish...but I remain just as happy. We'd spend the night at my Grandpa's, and wake up early to drive back home for Christmas. One of my parents would take the four of us to the only place open on Christmas morning...the Shell's gas station...and we'd each get to pick out donuts for the morning. The other parent would be dropped off at the house, and when we came back from getting the donuts - Santa would have arrived! As we got older, we'd sometimes be able to help Santa get the gifts while my younger siblings still picked out donuts for the family. Silly though it may seem, this little Christmas morning ritual of donuts at home is one of my favorite childhood Christmas traditions.
We pray that Jude has likewise fond memories of his childhood Christmases. Hopefully not memories of piles of presents or expensive toys - but memories of being with his family, enjoying the magic of the season, and understanding the enormity of what Jesus' birth meant to the world.
I hope you have an amazing Christmas and thank you for what you mean to our family!

November

11/02/08

39 Weeks!...
Okay, seriously? Am I really 39 weeks along? It's astounding to think about how much fear and worry went into us having a premature baby and how far away "full-term" seemed. Despite a night or two of wondering, "is this it?" and plenty more contractions, we are still preganant! Here is what babygaga has to say about our 39th week:
"Whether you give birth tomorrow or next week, it's pretty much all the same for your baby, who is now truly R-E-A-D-Y to face the big bright world outside of your womb. Speaking of wombs, your body is priming up for the big moment and hopefully, you're as prepared mentally as you can be. Your baby is well stocked up on fat, all their organs have put on the finishing touches. Here's hoping your child is already in the birthing position and basically just "hanging out" waiting for that elusive moment when all sysytems synchronize in your body to trigger the labor process."

11/05/08

still waiting...
I'll suppress the urge to talk about my thoughts on last night's election and just make note that Shawn and I were both watching the results with great interest. This is only my third time voting...my first time being when I was only 18. I'm not sure if I just didn't notice it in previous elections or if this year really was different, but there definitely seemed to be an incredible amount of buzz around the election. I wouldn't be surprised if the television ratings set some kind of record. Shawn and I made a night of it - watching "You're Not Elected Charlie Brown," and eating homemade apple pie and ice cream! We stayed up way too late waiting to see how Indiana and North Carolina voted (and at least according to CNN, the results still aren't in this morning?! Slowpokes!), and went to bed when I literally couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.
We actually thought we might have an Election Day baby last night! The contractions that have become so familiar had lessened considerably during the past few days, so I took note when I found myself contracting throughout the day yesterday. After dinner, they picked up, but I didn't want to even start timing them yet. I told Shawn that I'm so tired of the drama of timing and wondering and waiting...and just wanted to wait and see how strong they got. After a couple of hours they did start to get significantly strong, so Shawn started timing them for me. For about an hour and a half (give or take, I was trying to not pay attention and just tell Shawn when they started and stopped) they were every 2-3 minutes and were getting stronger. As seems to be the pattern, though, they eventually started to slow down and lessen in intensity. I didn't contract at all (that I know of, anyway) in my sleep last night and there's nothing going on this morning either. Because of all the false starts we've had, it's surreal to think that one of these days, the contractions aren't going to stop - they're only going to get stronger. I pretty much just assume that they'll slow down in time because that's the pattern that's been set.
I have to confess that my prayers have changed recently. Up until today, I've been praying that God would bring this little boy out in His perfect timing and that He'd give me patience to wait until that time. While it's a selfish prayer, I've now begun praying, "God, please! Bring him out today!"
Along those same lines, though, I've been thinking lately about how much God loves my little family and how much better He knows than we. Now that we've made it through the stress and fears of premature labor, I'm finding that a lot of good came of that experience - especially being on bed rest. What good, you may wonder? Well, let me explain.
1. The Effect of Bedrest On Our Marriage
When we first realized that I'd be restricted until at least 36 weeks, I thought for sure it would put a strain on Shawn and I. In fact, I kept waiting for Shawn to get frustrated with me for not being able to cook, clean, or take care of things. I kept waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And he never did. I honestly didn't know that it was humanly possible to as selfless as Shawn is. Not only did he take care of everything that needed tended to, he didn't even hint at complaining or making me feel guilty. In fact, the only fights we had were because Shawn wanted to take more care of me than I was allowing him. It was a great lesson for me in surrendering and trusting.
2. The Effect of Bedrest On Our Checkbook
Dave Ramsey says that every relationship has a "nerd" who loves numbers, spreadsheets, and budgets, and a "free spirit," who loves to not think about numbers, spreadsheets, or budgets. In our relationship, I tend to be the nerd and Shawn the free spirit. Even though we've always worked together on doing budgets, it just wasn't a priority to either one of us. Because I didn't have much else to do, I found myself checking our account online a lot and I started to track our expenses. Once I realized how much we were going to have to pay in hospital bills because of pre-term contractions, I started messing with the numbers to see how and when we would get those paid. Eventually, I was able to make a very detailed budget accounting for extra baby expenses, further hospital bills, and the cost of the baby's health insurance. I think the recent economic issues coupled with looming hospital bills made us both take a much keener interest than usual in making sure we kept to a budget. It took me a LOT of time to look through and track all of our spending, and then make a budget to reflect that. For the first couple of months, I had to track our spending every single day to make sure we were staying in the budget and had to be meticulous about when each bill was paid. I know that I wouldn't have had the time or the energy to do this if I hadn't been on bedrest. I also had the time to research our bank, only to discover that we were getting ripped off in fees and our APY rate was ridiculously low. So I had the time to switch our banking insitution - a feat in itself since most of our bill pay is automatic! I know that very soon time will be a scarce commodity, so I'm grateful to have had the chance to set up a system that works really well for us.
3. The Effect of Bedrest on my Time With God
I'm ashamed to admit it, but when I get busy, the very first thing to go is the time that I spend with God. After a few days of being "too busy," it's easy to then skip that time because "I just don't feel like it." Pre Term labor caused me to hit my knees in fear and bedrest helped me to stay consistent. Suddenly, I had more time on my hands than I knew what to do with, so some days I'd pick up my Bible because there just wasn't much else to do. Even after the fear of pre-term labor and boredom of bedrest wore off, I find myself craving that daily time with God like I used to crave coffee. My day just isn't the same if I don't talk to Him, and I feel empty if I go a few days without slowing down to spend time in His presence.
Really, the list could go on and on - bedrest helped me see that my home doesn't have to be perfectly clean, that God can protect this child when I'm incapable of doing so, that I have amazingly understanding co-workers, and that this little child is loved more than he could possibly ever know.
So in light of all the stress and drama we endured, I think it's safe to say that I'm grateful for it and am even more aware that the gifts of God are good and perfect - even if it doesn't seems so.

11/06/08

appointment update...
I have to admit that I was not in a good mood this morning. I was tired and achy, my throat hurt, I was swollen, and the very last thing I wanted to do was head to our appointment only to be told, I was sure, that I'd made no progress since last week. As we waited for the Doctor, my head was full of whining, if I'm being completely honest. Even though we hear it every week now, something in my heart just melted when Dr. Ponder put the doppler on my belly and we heard his heartbeat. I was struck with the reminder that I'm carrying a life. I have the amazing privilege of nurturing an entire human being inside of my body. It's worth it. So worth it.
And then, during the cervical exam, the Doctor told us that I am now 3cm dialated and 75% effaced! I almost cried, I was so excited! We've had a couple of tough nights of contractions that have eventually gone away, and it's been discouraging to think they might not be making a difference. So to know that the pain is doing something was just what I needed to hear! I asked him if it would possible for him to sweep my membranes, and he said, "sure." I had expected that procedure to be painful, but to be honest...it was less painful than some of the cervical checks I've had. I think it depends on the Doctor, but it didn't really hurt at all.
Our next appointment is Wednesday, when I'll be 41 weeks. He said if I haven't gone into labor before that - then our Wednesday appointment will include an ultrasound, fetal monitoring, and the possibility of induction. I guess at 41 weeks they leave it up to the parents. My immediate thought is, "heck yeah! Induce me!" but we'll see if I change my mind by Wednesday. I always thought I'd be more than happy to go over my due date and wouldn't want to be induced unless it was absolutely necessary..but at this point, I'm so ready! He did also say he thought that odds were that I wouldn't make it to our next appointment, but we'll see. Since the appointment, I've been having some contractions, but I typically do for about a half a day after I am checked.
After we finished up at the OB, Shawn took me to Starbucks where I got a yummy Gingerbread Latte (decaf, don't worry) to soothe my throat. Between hearing the heartbeat, the good news on progress, and the coffee...I'm out of my funky mood. Thank goodness!

11/09/08

40 Weeks...
So today, November 9th, is my official due date. We've gotten plenty of, "you haven't had him yet?!", advice on how to induce labor, and a variety of labor stories. I wish I had some news that things were moving along, but things are pretty much the same. Still having contractions, but they never get strong enough for us to head into the hospital. Here's what babygaga has to say about this week:
"This is it. If you haven’t already gone into delivery, we’ve officially arrived at that time where all you’re doing is trying to patiently play the oh-so-maddening waiting game. Your long-awaited miracle is undoubtedly just as impatient as you to get things moving along. You can generally expect a head-first delivery unless your healthcare provider is unable to coax them out of breech position, in which case their feet come first. After nine months of waiting and even after your wonder-baby is finally out, your doctor or midwife will probably make you wait another five minutes while they give your child an Apgar score (see below); suction any fluids or mucous that may be blocking their newly exposed airways; and clean the remaining vernix and blood from their little body. After all the waiting, you’ll finally get to hold your exhausted little love-bug. Just a heads up: it’s fairly common for newborns to have a bit of chapping or even red rashes on their skin. Gerber babies don’t just pop out sparkly clean and smooth from the womb.
It’ll come whether you’re ready or not, so grab your bag, call the doc, get a hold of the grandfolks-to-be and get ready to execute your much-rehearsed plan of action. PLEASE DO NOT put the pedal to the metal. Labor typically last 13 hours (8 hours for mothers who have delivered once already), and getting to the birth center 10 minutes earlier isn’t likely to make a big difference. Try to keep a level head and drive safely: there’s a lot at stake."

11/15/08

jude is here!...
I only have moment and want to post our birth story later, but just wanted to announce that Jude Christian was born on November 11th at 5:58am. He was 7lbs 13oz and 20 inches long....and pretty much perfect. :)
"Jude" means praise or thanks and we haven't stopped doing just that!

11/16/08

jude? like the beatles song?...
This seems to be the most typicaly response people give us when we tell them we named our son Jude. I suppose it's natural - Shawn and I both love the Beatles and most people know how important music is to Shawn's life. So let me explain to you why we named him Jude lest you think we named our son after a Beatles song. :)
We actually were eating ice cream with friends when "Hey Jude" played. Shawn looked at me and asked what I thought of the name "Jude." Keep in mind that throughout the pregnancy, Shawn would ask what I thought of random baby names several times a day. Most of the time he was asking me ridiculous names and most of the time I would claim my veto power. When he asked about Jude, I paused, and said, "hmmm...maybe." We tossed the name around for a few minutes, seeing how it sounded with "Maurer," and debating whether we liked "Jude," or "Judah," and if Christian would work as a middle name. I'm a big fan of names being meaningful and we've thrown away several names because we didn't like their meanings. So the name was almost completely solidified when we looked the name up and found out it means, "Praise" or "Thanks."
Yep, that's exactly how we felt about this boy. The entire pregnancy has been one big ball of thanks to God so the name is entirely perfect. So we chose the name Jude because the meaning fits our son and we like the way it sounds. The fact that there's a great Beatles song that we can sing to him is just gravy. :) You all also have our full permission to sing the Beatles song to him at any point. Here is a link for more information about the name "Jude"
http://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/meaning_of_Jude.html
And just for fun...you should definitely check this out. It would explain why we sometimes sing, "remember...to rerever into your hawt..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgrrQwLdME8

11/17/08

jude's birth story...
Here are some of the details about Jude's birth:
On Monday, November 10th, I thought my water might have broken, so after a day of work, I called the OB and they asked me to come in and be tested.

They tested and found out that my water hadn’t broken, and I was dialated to “a 3, maybe a 4.” The nurse told us she thought we’d probably be in labor soon, but to keep timing contractions and counting kicks. As she was describing the movement I should’ve been feeling, I told her that I hadn’t felt him moving that much in awhile. So a non-stress test was ordered. We took the non-stress test for about half an hour, and Jude was just fine. I could actually see him kicking so hard that he was moving the monitor up and down, but I could barely feel it, which would probably account for the fewer movements I was feeling. He was moving just fine, but his movements were just more subtle and less detectable by feel.

So Shawn and I went home, a little discouraged by the lack of labor. We picked up a couple of last minute baby things from Target and ordered a Mario’s Pizza to eat at home. Once home, we ate the pizza and my contractions continued about every six minutes apart. We started getting excited again and I bounced on an exercise ball for awhile, but around 9:00 they just completely stopped. We went to bed around 11:00pm, and I distinctly remember dreaming about really painful contractions. They eventually got so painful that they woke me up, so I decided to empty my bladder to see if that helped. When I sat up, I started to leak heavily, and once I made it to the toilet, it was a gush. I did my best to clean up. I thought that it was probably my water breaking, but wanted to wait a little bit just to be sure. So I went out into the living room and started timing my contractions. They were coming about every 5 or 6 minutes apart and began to get very painful. After about 25 minutes of timing them, I realized this was probably labor, but I wanted to give Shawn as long as possible to sleep. In between contractions, I started gathering my things and getting ready and they increased in strength and consistency. At about 1:40, I realized that we probably needed to get to the hospital rather quickly, so I woke Shawn up. He was adorable, sleepy, and excited. J We both got dressed and ready and left the house around 1:55.

I remember the ride to the hospital being awful. The contractions were picking up very quickly and would usually make me nauseated at the end of each. We almost had to pull over to allow me to vomit several times and sitting down in the car was excruciating. We finally got to the hospital around 1:15am. The only time I snapped at Shawn during the entire birth was at this point. He was trying to figure out if he needed to drop me off, if he should park in the parking garage and walk with me, and if I needed a wheelchair. I kept saying things like, “I don’t care, just get me there,” and trying to tell him that I’d rather not be in a wheelchair, and he kept trying to figure out what to do. Finally, I snapped, “Just drop me off at the door now! I’ll walk!” So he dropped me off, parked the car, grabbed our birthing stuff (which was quite the handful, including an exercise ball!) and we walked together to check-in. I did actually vomit on my way to the check-in counter, which was embarrassing. Once we checked in, we were taken to the triage where it seemed to take forever for a nurse to come in and check me. I think I vomited again while waiting. Thankfully, Rhonda got there around that time, and I think she hurried a nurse in to check me. Shawn was amazing, helping me count through contractions and letting me lean on him when I needed to. Once checked, I was told that I’d dialated to 5cm and was wheeled to a labor and delivery room. Once we got there, the contractions picked up intensely. I was doing my best to count through them with Shawn, but I actually found myself having to scream through some of the more intense contractions. I was still getting nauseated at the end of a few and ended up vomiting a couple more times. I asked Rhonda about how much longer she thought labor might be, and she said that for first time moms, you can typically count on being in labor an hour for every centimeter. Since I was a five, I reasoned that I would probably be looking at another five hours. Eventually, I started asking for an epidural as the contractions got stronger and stronger. I ended up begging for the epidural. Most of this period is pretty blurry, but I do remember crying a couple of times. I also remember flipping from my back to being on all fours, trying to find any position that would be less painful. I was in that position when the aneseiologist came in to give me the epidural. I was checked again and had gone from 5cm to 8 in 45 minutes! He explained that I’d need to stay extremely still while he was injecting the needle, even if I was contracting. During the injection, I was sitting on the edge of the bed with my chin to my chest while Shawn talked me through the contractions I was having. Dr. Lipscomb also came in at this point and helped me through them, telling me how great of a job I was doing. It seems like it took forever for the epidural to kick in, but it was probably only a few minutes as I only remember having two more contractions. Once the drugs started, I was in heaven! It felt so different and I could relax my body and mind. Shawn, Rhonda, and I joked around for awhile and chatted. I could still feel pressure with each contraction and could sometimes feel my belly tightening, but I couldn’t feel any pain. I think it was about an hour later that the nurse checked me again, and I had dialated completely. They wanted to let me wait a little bit longer to see if I would have the urge to push, but I never did. After a bit, the nurse came in and told me that I could start pushing if I wanted to. So, I began. I honestly couldn’t feel anything, but she told me when to push and they seemed to be satisfied with the job I was doing…even without being able to feel. Apparently Jude’s heartrate was dropping when I would push, so they had me put on an oxygen mask. Thankfully, his heart rate never got to dangerous levels and the mask seemed to be giving us both enough oxygen to be fine. I asked if I could use the bar that goes across the bed to help with the pushing. It attached on either side of the bed, they hung a towel from the middle, and I grasped the towel with each push. It helped me to curl a little bit and have a little extra oomph with each push. It felt like I pushed for several hours, but according to Shawn, it was about 30 or 45 minutes. They called Dr. Lipscomb back in, and I pushed for awhile longer until Jude was born! He was born at 5:58am on November 11th. He was born with a bit of a cone head, but that’s normal and has rounded out by today (4 days old). His apgars were 8 and 9 right after birth. Shawn cut the cord (twice, actually), and I did have a second degree tear.

As soon as he was born, he was put on my chest while the Dr. dealt with the afterbirth. I held him for a few minutes and then they cleaned him off, gave him eye drops, tested him, etc. Once that was done, I was able to hold him again and nurse him for the first time. Jude hasn’t had any issues with being jaundice or anything else. He’s pretty much perfect.