May

5/1/08

It's been awhile...And I'm so sorry. Things with Worth the Wait have picked back up and I'm still being hit with the nausea stick, so I just haven't had much time or energy to update. Overall, things are going well. The baby's still growing, I'm still feeling evidence that my hormones are right where they should be, and we're thrilled as ever to be having a baby. That being said, I am still pretty sick. I've newly discovered a few things that make me gag...sun dried tomatoes and mushrooms for instance...and am doing my best to avoid those. Unfortunately, it seems to be primarily carbs, meat, and cheese that I crave (I'm thinking my body is wanting protein), while raw fruit, in any form, and many vegetables make me sick. It's been hard to make sure I'm getting plenty of fruits and veggies in my diet, but I'm working on it. Fruit smoothies and frozen, plain veggies are what's working for me right now. I went through about a week long period of not being sure that I still wanted to be pregnant. I've heard that's pretty common at this stage (maybe women tend to get frustrated with feeling so poorly for so long?), and I hope you don't think I'm an awful woman/mom for vocalizing it. I mean, deep down, I was glad we're pregnant, and thrilled to be having a baby, but I was having lingering thoughts of, "what the heck did we do? are we sure about this? this is HUGE!" After a week of having these nagging feelings, I had a very vivid dream. I dreamt that I had just woken up from a dream, in our bed (I know that's confusing, but it made the dream VERY realistic, because I thought I'd just woken up from a dream), and was bleeding. I had a worth the wait presentation that morning (which, I really did have a presentation the next morning), and was trying to figure out if I should cancel the presentation and go to the doctor or just work through the bleeding. Next thing I knew, there was a doctor in our bedroom, checking my cervix, and telling me that the baby was gone. There was a woman standing next to me, and I looked at her, horrified, and asked her what that meant. "It means he took the baby out, sweetie, because it died. You don't have a baby anymore." In my dream, I actually went through the process of having to call people and tell them.That's all I remember about the dream, but I woke up off and on for the next several hours, and every time I woke up, I just felt heavy...I thought for sure what had just happened was real and that I had miscarried. I was devastated....I was beyond devastated.I finally woke up about ten minutes before the alarm went off, and was awake enough to look around at my surroundings. I realized quickly that it was still the morning of the presentation. And then I quickly realized that I'd been dreaming. I even felt my stomach to assure myself that it was just a dream. And I was ELATED. I cannot even explain the absolute relief that washed over me. I lay in bed, tears in my eyes, thanking God for the life that He'd given us. I don't think I'll ever have thoughts of not wanting to be pregnant again. I honestly find myself amazed and grateful that God is knitting a child together in my womb. What an amazing privilege and responsibility it is.

5/4/08

13 weeks...Here's what the little one is up to this week:"This is your final week in the first trimester and your little weed continues to grow and grow and grow. Of the three trimesters, this one has been the most important for your little one’s development. Assuming you’ve carefully adopted a healthy diet, continue to exercise and get ample rest, your little one is set up perfectly for even more growth and development in tri-two! Way to go! He or she now weighs about 2.5 ounces and is roughly 3.5 inches in length. Little hairs, known as lanugo, will start to cover their body this week, as their sense of taste and smell are further refined. Their cozy little amniotic sac is also increasing in size and mass as it continues to fill with more fluid."

5/8/08

Smell My Orange Juice...We'll be 14 weeks along on Sunday, and I just cannot believe how quickly the first trimester has gone! I recently went through my wardrobe and put about half of it away to wear again in six months. Getting to wear maternity clothes is kind of like getting an all new wardrobe for nine months!I have realized that I don't mind people touching my belly nearly as much as I thought I would. At our last Worth the Wait performance, a few of the girls touched my tummy, uninvited. It took me back for a second, but I certainly wasn't annoyed. I also have a Jr. High girl in my small group who comes up to me, puts one hand on my belly and the other on my back and says in all of her glorious southern accent, "You takin' care of that baby?" Believe it or not, I find her concern and even her touch amusing and sweet, rather than frustrating. So perhaps all that fretting about how to deal with it was without reason? Or maybe I'm just okay with Jr. High/High School students touching me? Or maybe just people to whom I feel close? Now as to the title of this Journal. When Shawn takes me into work in the mornings, we pass a cow pasture and a sewage plant - within a couple miles of each other. When I was in the throes of morning sickness, the seven or eight mile stretch of stench was miserable. Shawn, being the thoughtful and resourceful husband that he is, would hand me his cup of orange juice and tell me to smell his orange juice. So I would spend about a quarter of my morning commute with my nose in Shawn's cup of orange juice.Strange, but it did the trick. I realized on Tuesday morning that while driving through the "stretch of stench," I smelled the cow manure and the sewage, but it didn't make me nauseated, and Shawn's orange juice was able to remain unsmelled!All of that to say that it appears that I'm getting over morning (ahem, all day) sickness. I still get a little queasy (and cranky) if I don't eat often enough, but that feels delightful compared to how I was feeling before. I missed the world of non-gagging and a stable stomach, and my friend...it's good to be back.In other news, I have a cold. Thankfully it's not been too bad and I haven't had to contend with a fever, but it's just making me even more tired and easily worn down than I already am. I look longingly as my husband is able to take medicine to clear his head and stop the coughing, while I think fondly of my pre-pregnancy, medication popping days. Just kidding, I was never a big medicine taker, but I would usually take mega doses of Vitamin C, which is forbidden to the expecting Mom. So I'll suffer through and load up on naps and maybe backrubs instead of decongestant and Vitamin C. Seems like a fair trade. :)And finally, we have our next appointment a week from today, Thursday the 15th. I'm sure I've said this before, but I'm really looking forward to hearing the heartbeat again. I'm also going to be asking the doctor what the deal is about sleeping on my left-hand side. Does anyone know what that's all about? Will I hurt the baby if I sleep on the right side/on my stomach/on my back? I'm having a hard time being comfortable on my left side, and I'm too wracked with guilt to sleep peacefully in any other position. I think that's about all that's going on with the Maurers baby-wise right now. We're really looking forward to enjoying our second trimester!

5/12/08

14 weeks...Here's how our baby is developing this week:"Fetal development in pregnancy week 14: Isn’t it glorious? You and your little buckaroo have roped your way right into trimester numero dos! Are you ready to rock!? Okay, okay… maybe just a little rolling and poking. Needless to say, your baby will definitely be making themselves known in the upcoming weeks. At about 3.5 inches long, their little body and limber limbs are coordinated enough for loads of complicated motions. In fact, their whole body is moving right now! You're not feeling it because their current size is still a bit too small to make an impact you'd recognize. Still, their movements are recognizable on an ultrasound. Your baby is also starting to develop the ability to move their eyes this week, although the eyelids still remain fused shut. What's more, they can make all sorts of fun facial expressions as they practice squinting, frowning, and grimacing. Cute development of the week: their little hands can grasp at things and they may already be sucking their thumb!And how's mom doing? What’s in the forecast for your second trimester? We’ve got a heavy concentration of developing fetal movement, which will increase in magnitude in frequency through the duration of the second trimester before subsiding in the third trimester as womb-space becomes limited. If you think you’ve got gas or some kind of odd bowel obstruction right now, it might actually just be your little one poking you hello! You’ll become more familiar with the sensation as the frequency and intensity increase (and you’ll never quite forget this special feeling!.On to the less exciting news. In your second trimester, you will most likely experience some if not all of the following symptoms to varying degrees: dizziness, headache and back pain. Just like morning sickness during the first trimester, your chances of experiencing a given set of symptoms increases if you’ve already had them in a previous pregnancy. Unfortunately, if you’re starting to experience back pain, it will most likely increase as you gain more weight towards the end of the trimester. Although unavoidable during your waking hours, you don’t have to suffer so much during the night—there are some wonderful products out there such as the full body pregnancy pillow, which will help you make it through the night without too much undue suffering. Water retention is another fairly classic albeit annoying pregnancy symptom which typically leads to swollen fingers, toes, ankles and/or legs. These are all perfectly normal (and fairly bearable) symptoms that should not be a source of unnecessary stress. Despite these annoyances, the second trimester is typically experienced as the most exciting and enjoyable of the three— the morning sickness is gone, you definitely feel and look pregnant, but you’re not yet an overstuffed-lumbering-mammoth. Go team go!"

5/13/08

Running and Heart Rate...While having some intermittent days/moments of sickness or fatigue, I am - overall - feeling much, much better. As such, I've been able to get out and try this running thing more often, along with incorporating prenatal yoga into my weekly schedule.Can I just say how much I missed exercise? I know I sound like a freak, but I'm such an introvert and really love putting my iPod on and zoning out the world for a good hour every other day. I've loved the yoga DVD that we found, and have found that it stretches and works the exact parts of my body that need it most. Anyway, I'm glad to be "back," so to speak.But let me tell you, I was quite shocked when I went for my first "run" with a heart rate monitor. I feel like I have to put the word run in quotes, because I'm not quite sure what I'd call what I did. My doctor told me not to get my heart rate above 140 bpm. Guess what my heart rate was at an easy warm-up walk? 127. And at a brisk, uphill walk? 134. 134 from walking?! As soon as I started running, my heart rate shot up to 148, and I couldn't believe it. I kept trying for a couple of days, even allowing myself a limit of 150 bpm. Even at 150, I could only run for about thirty seconds before having to walk for five minutes. I could run for forty-five seconds if it was in the shade and downhill. But oh, that forty-five seconds of bliss! I came away from my walking/running trips feeling like I must be ridiculously out of shape for my heart rate to shoot up that quickly. I was frustrated, but figured that running even for thirty seconds will help me keep some fitness. But I've been doing some research. It turns out that my quickly rising heart rate is actually a sign that I'm quite fit (something about maximum heart rate level being higher when you regularly run). I know, I almost laughed out loud myself when I read that. Me? Very good physical condition? Those are not words I've ever used to describe myself. Though apparently all the running I've done has been pretty good for my ticker. So for me, it appears that my "safe" zone would be between 150-160 bpm (so maybe I could run for a full minute?!), but with the major emphasis being on me being "comfortable." I'm not one to be okay with vague terminology when it comes to the health of my baby, so after some more research, I've found that I need to make sure my breathing isn't labored, and my body isn't overheated. Also, while I was running 20-28 miles a week regularly before pregnancy, I took most of the first trimester off due to sickness and fatigue. I totally understand that I will need to ease back into running and when in doubt, slow down. I've only done the research in the past day or so, but I'll be sure to let ya'll know how it goes when I head out there to run again.I hope you mothers had a great Mother's Day and felt quite cherished and honored by your children/husbands. I was surprised by all of the the Happy Mother's Days I got, but I suppose it's true. I am a mother. I certainly worry enough to be one, at least. :)

5/16/08

Our Appointment Yesterday...Just a quick update to let you know that our appointment yesterday went well. The entire thing took all of fifteen minutes - we got to hear the heartbeat, we asked a few questions, and we were done! I'll be going in on the 29th of May for some bloodwork, and then our next regular appointment is June 12th.I think both Shawn and I liked the doctor we saw yesterday the best. He seemed very laid back. He also was wearing tennis shoes and a Nike running watch, which probably means he's a runner. I bet he would've given me a different answer on the heart rate question. = ) I asked him about sleeping on my left hand side, and he said that really is the optimal sleeping position when I'm late in my pregnancy. Basically, he said that my body will tell me if I'm doing harm quite quickly, and eventually, I'll be too uncomfortable on my stomach or back. So I was relieved to know that, as long as it's comfortable, I can sleep in any position at this point. I just read through some of your guys' guestbook entries (thanks! by the way!). I'm not sure how to respond to specific entries and keep it on the guestbook page, so I'll just do it here. My Aunt Jackie mentioned wanting to see the "baby bump progression" pictures. You know, I've actually been meaning to do those, Aunt Jackie. At first, I was embarassed by how quickly I started showing (though later realized it's typical for the shorties of the world to show much sooner), and since then, I just haven't had the chance.But know that it IS something I want to document and I WILL get around to doing it! I promise.

5/18/08

15 weeks today!...Oh my goodness, how quicky time has gone! Taken from babygaga.com, here's how little Maurer is developing this week:"Fetal development in pregnancy week 15:fetus in fourth month Your nearly four-inch long gymnast is happily mobile inside your womb and if you're really lucky, you’ll notice a point when your sneezing, coughing or laughing results in a little kick here or a poke there. Still, many women don't feel anything until the 17th week or later. Although the poking and kicking isn't very charming during sleeping hours, it’s a good sign as it means your baby is actually reacting to outside events. Yay! You’ve got yourself one active healthy baby! Their little elbows and knees are bending more freely this week and their little legs are finally growing longer than their arms and getting pumped up for prenatal Richard Simmons. Many of their major organ systems are increasing in capacity—particularly that amazing tiny heart and complex circulation system, which is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood per day, and will increase to a very impressive 200 quarts per day by the end of the pregnancy. As far as hair goes, we’ve got some new scalp patterns beginning to develop on the head, although actual head hair is not yet present.And how's mom doing? Have your cheeks been rosier lately? (No, no, no-- we’re asking about your face.) Are you feeling especially radiant? This famed “glow” is brought to you courtesy of the pregnancy fairy who has waved her magical “rosy tinge wand” over you. Seriously though, your body is experiencing an increase in blood flow and you probably do have flushed skin and cheeks. Just be aware that increased blood flow might cause your blood vessels to expand, resulting in a series of not-so-magical nosebleeds for some women, which although perfectly normal, are a bit gory if you’ve got a day job. If you find the nosebleeds especially irritable, consider purchasing a humidifier to ward off future nose bleeds. Also, do your best to avoid irritants, such as aerosols, smoke, and dust.. Even though the placenta is regulating your babe’s hormones, you are still producing additional estrogen, which often causes swelling of the mucosa membranes, leaving you with a stuffy nose—potentially throughout the duration of the pregnancy. These are just a few of the charming physical experiences you can chalk up to the pregnancy fairy!"

5/21/08

The "How We Found Out" Story...I realize that I've not told most people the details about how Shawn and I found out we were pregnant. I thought now would be the perfect time to share it!Let's see - we found out back in February. Shawn and I had been trying for several months, which was a difficult experience, but one in which God taught me about patience and giving up control. I found myself clinging to Proverbs 3:3-5, "Trust in the Lord will all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge the Lord in all of your ways, and He will make your path straight." For the first time in several months, I had actually been thinking that I would rather NOT get pregnant that particular month. My rationale was that I was in my sister's wedding in May and I had a 10K that I wanted to run in April. If we weren't pregnant that month, I could still run the 10K and wouldn't have to worry about fitting into the dress for my sister's wedding. So for that month, I gave up counting days and checking ovulation signs, and the whole thing kind of slipped my mind. Several days after we conceived (though we didn't know, obviously) Shawn and I were in our office, watching television. I smelled the aroma of coffee pretty strongly, and thought to myself, "Mmmm...that smells good. Wait a minute. Why is someone making coffee at 10:00 at night?" The scent soon changed, and I realized that the smell I thought was coffee was actually the smell of our dog pooping in the house!About a week later, we had a small group Bible Study at our house. We were having dinner, and we were also brewing some coffee to have after dessert. I was standing in a group of people, listening to the conversation, when I smelled our dog's poo. We had put him back in our bedroom for the night, so as to not annoy our guests. I freaked out (in my head, of course), trying to figure out what I needed to do. Wouldn't it be rude for me to go back, clean up his mess, and come out with a bag of dog poo? But I certainly couldn't wait until everyone left. After all, if I could smell it, than so could everyone else! I silently took a poll of the facial expressions of our guests. Nobody seemed to be sniffing the air like I was. Nobody seemed to be disgusted by the smell. In the time that it took my mind to process all of that and go back and check on Coletrane (who was innocently sitting there, accident-free), I realized that I had mistaken the smell of the coffee we were brewing as poop. I thought that was strange, told Shawn about it, and we both laughed it off. It wasn't until several days later that I remembered those incidences and wondered if it might mean something about my hormones.On Wednesday, February 27th, I took a home pregnancy test (I was not yet "late," but the smelling symptom just began to weigh heavily on me). I watched the test closely and there was no pink line. My heart sank, but to be honest, I was getting used to getting that exact answer from pregnancy tests. I walked away for a few minutes, and came back to throw the test out. When I came back, I saw that there was an EVER so faint pink line. So faint I thought I just made it up, and threw it out. An hour later, I fished it back out of the trash can. My mind was going crazy. I had taken this exact same brand of test many, many times before, and had never "thought" that I saw a line. So I held it up to natural light, held it up to fluorescent light, held it up to dim light, held it up to bright light...I tilted it and squinted...and still the line remained faint. So I waited a couple of hours and tested again. This time, I was fairly positive that there was a faint line after three minutes. After ten or fifteen minutes, there was definitely a light pink line. I was in shock, and honestly, afraid to get my hopes up. I kept walking in and out of the bathroom to check and see if the line disappeared. I've always wanted to be able to surprise Shawn with the news of our first pregnancy. I knew that I didn't just want to blurt it out to him, and I knew I'd have to work extra hard at keeping this potential secret (because to be honest, I still didn't quite believe it). The next day was his birthday, which was just perfect!I went to church that night, anxiously holding this possibility of a very huge secret inside of me, just bursting to tell someone. I managed to keep it in, and just continued working on the many other surprises I had planned for Shawn's birthday. Shawn noticed that I was a little more giddy than usual, but I just attributed it to being so excited about his birthday the next day. I went to bed that night, and woke up at 5:00am with a bursting bladder (and, to be honest, a racing mind!). I took another pregnancy test, and it was again, faintly positive. I think it hit me then...you can't have three false positive tests in a row like that, and there's no other reason your body would produce a hormone to make that pink line. I was pregnant.I crawled back in bed and whispered to Shawn, "I think I'm pregnant," and kissed him on the cheek. He stirred, but didn't hear me. I was way too excited to go back to sleep, so I spent the next hour and a half online, killing time. I was already researching things I could/couldn't eat or do. I was still too excited to sleep, so at 7:00 or 7:30, I got up to make Shawn birthday breakfast. Throughout Shawn's whole day, I had several surprises and gifts to give him. Luckily, we both had to work, and I had a busy birthday afternoon and evening planned for him...so I didn't really have time to let the big surprise slip. I did, however, have time to take a few more pregnancy tests, and the lines were only getting darker. I surprised him with dinner with some close friends, then we went to a movie he'd wanted to see, then we headed home. I sped all the way home, zipping in and out of traffic...I was so anxious to share this with him! When we got home, Shawn's Dad called. I was glad for Shawn to get the chance to talk to his Dad, but I cannot tell you how torturous that was to wait!!I did wait, though, and then shared the rest of my gifts with Shawn. Awhile ago, I'd had a friend of our take professional pictures of me. I framed them and had been giving them to Shawn - little by little - throughout his whole birthday. I gave him several of those, and then there was one present left (It was a framed picture of me holding a sign that read, "we're pregnant!"). I told Shawn it was my favorite, and as he was opening it, he was laughing about it, and saying, "ooh, it's a picture frame, i wonder what could be inside of it?"He opened it about halfway, turned it over, read what was in the picture, and his face dropped. He looked at me, wide-eyed, and said, "are you serious?" I couldn't speak because I was already crying, so I just nodded. He asked how I knew, and through tears, I responded, "I've taken like five pregnancy tests, and they're all positive!"We hugged and cried and laughed and prayed and had ice cream cake to celebrate. And that, my friends, is the story of how we found out we were pregnant. :)

5/27/08

16 weeks 2 days...Here is how the little one is growing in its 16th week:"Over the past three weeks your astounding growing baby has managed to stretch yet another 2 full inches (totaling about 4.5 inches) and weighs around 3.5 ounces. Yessireee, that’s some pretty serious growth... and with it comes several physical developments! For starters, their head to body ratio is finally starting to even out a bit as the rest of the body is actually growing faster than the head at this point. Yes, your little light bulb is not so top-heavy. Their adorable little limbs have lengthened, almost reaching their normal proportions which they will have at birth. Their eyes are still closed but moving and if you had an ultrasound, which many doctors recommend you have at about this time, you may even see your little one sucking on a thumb, not to mention the necessary signifiers to let you know whether you’ve got a wee lad or lassie."