things i do

I mentioned a few posts ago that I've been doing some thinking about my priorities and how I order my life. It's easy to claim certain things as priorities, but I find those "priorities" often getting cluttered out and altogether ignored by less important things. I heard an illustration long ago about a jar and rocks. I'm certain you've heard it, too. The basic point is that if you fill that jar with big stones first, you'll have room to fit the small pebbles in and around those stones. But if you fill the jar with the pebbles first, there won't be any room for the large stones. My life is easily consumed with small pebbles, though it's usually my fault because I haven't put the stones in first.

And so, here are my stones:

-I'm trying to figure out a way to phrase this without sounding pithy or cliche, but I'm falling short. I love me some God. There, I said it. My life revolves around knowing Him, loving Him, pleasing Him, failing Him, being awed by Him, and being rescued by Him. He is the reason why and the strength through which anything else on my list can exist. Practically speaking I'm in a season of my life where I'm not able to dedicate the hour to Bible study and prayer that I once could, but I'm also in a season of my life where I'm learning what it means to pray without ceasing. I pray as I rock Cohen to sleep, I pray as I watch Jude color, I pray as I take a shower, I pray as I fold the laundry, I pray as I close my eyes at night, I pray as I clean up toys, vacuum the floor, and wipe spit up off my shoulder.

Now, lest you think I'm uber spiritual, you should know that the vast majority of these prayers go something like, "God, please give me patience (or wisdom, depending on the day) to love this family like You love me." Even though my prayers are short and pretty repetitive these days, this interaction with my Abba is my lifeblood.

- I love Shawn and try to give him my best. It's a tough task right now, but I try not to give Shawn my leftovers - physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I take however much time he needs to listen to his thoughts, vents, and triumphs at the end of his work day and I serve him throughout my day by creating order and stability in our home. I speak well of him to others (which isn't a tough task, he's amazing), and I love him enough to do the hard work of challenging him to be who God created him to be.

-I am a prayerful and humble steward of two little lives. Jude and Cohen are mine for only a time, and I'm constantly asking myself if I'm being a wise steward or a foolish steward of their lives. I aim to show them that God created them, loves them, and has a plan for them. I work to speak Truth into their lives - that they are strong, brave, sweet, smart, and capable - but when they are weak, afraid, obstinate, foolish, and incapable God and I both love them just as much and delight in helping them become the former. I know that I'm their world right now, and I strive to create a world for them that is filled with love, joy, peace, patience (most of the time, anyway), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

-I know that taking care of myself belongs on this list because unfortunately, I've seen what happens when it's not. Right now, taking care of myself means not being shy about asking for a nap. It also means taking the time to eat well and fuel my body for the marathon days and nights ahead, and realizing that I need to occasionally get out of this house without the kids in tow. Like everything else on my list, the practical ways in which this plays out change with each season of my life. I'm looking forward to the days when this means rising early to go for a run, get a shower, and spend time with my Creator.

-I maintain order in our home. I make sure our bills are paid and our budget is balanced, I organize our paperwork and files, and I manage appointments and schedules.

-I minister to and love my small group girls. I make sure they know that I'm a safe place to fall and that I love them unconditionally.

-I invest in and work on developing friendships (albeit poorly most of the time). I'm constantly checking myself to make sure I'm not putting up needless walls and am being authentic with friends. I try to be a good listener and make sure I'm giving as much as I'm taking in conversation and heart.

These are my stones, the non-negotiable things of priority and importance. I'm amazed by how much of my daily activity I waste on things that are pebbles. In order to make room to do the things on my list - and do them well - there are many things that I need to consciously choose not to do. Coming up soon - my list of things I don't do.

In the meantime, I'd love to hear about the things in your life on which you place priority and how you manage them!