good parenting vs. bad parenting

Good Parenting:

I was seventeen years old and it was 1999. Remember good ole '99? Thank you, Prince, for getting the world's most obnoxious song stuck in my head every SINGLE day that year. I was a senior in high school, and suddenly body piercings became the newest trend. Everyone was getting their navels, eyebrows, cartilage, and tongues...yes, tongues...pierced.

Now I'm not usually one to succumb to peer pressure. In fact, I'm just stubborn enough to do the opposite of what everyone is doing just so I can say I don't give a flying flip about peer pressure. I wish I could say I've grown out of this, but you really should send my husband letters of sympathy, because I'm truthfully the same stubborn, block headed girl I was back then. Nonetheless, even the most independent of us fall to peer pressure occasionally, and this was apparently my downfall. Don't judge me - let's not talk about your teased bangs/blue eyeshadow/pegged pants/oversized flannel shirts with holey jeans, alright?

Where was I? Oh yeah...piercings. So I decided - in my infinite 17 year old wisdom - that I needed a tongue ring. Why, you ask? Well...um...it looked...no...it felt...hmmm...not really...I thought it was....yeah, not so much...

Okay. I didn't really have a good reason. I'm still not sure why exactly I wanted a tongue ring, I just set my sights on it and wanted it with all of my 17 year old heart. The hurdle? My mom. And this was no ordinary hurdle. This was the same woman who endured one solid semester of nagging every SINGLE night as we washed the dishes together about not being allowed to go to the 6th grade dance. The same Mom who didn't allow me to wear makeup until I was in 8th grade, despite my protests that everrrrryoneee eeeeelseeee was wearing it. The same Mom who told me in 7th grade that I wasn't allowed to call Chad Wilson because girls didn't call boys.

Today, I'm grateful for my Mom's protection, but I just knew that my request for a tongue ring would be met with laughter. But I finally did it. I got up every last bit of nerve that I had, walked into the living room where my Mom was reading a book, and asked if I could get a tongue ring. I expected laughter. I thought maybe she'd scream, "WHAT?!" I braced myself for angry questioning. Instead...I got...silence.

Just silence. No laughing, screaming, or anger. After I checked to make sure she hadn't entered into a shocked catatonic state, I asked, "so...what do you think?"

"well....why do you want a tongue ring?" she asked. "um...i don't know, i just think it looks cool," was my brilliant response.

She answered, "Okay."

Okay? Okay??? Okay??!! Who abducted my mother?!


And do you know what my Mom went on to say? Probably some of the wisest words I've ever heard. She said, "Well, Jen - you're a good kid. I don't have to worry about you drinking or having sex, and you spend most of your weekends here at the house or hanging out at Kolby's house debating Scripture (nerd alert!). I guess if this is the way you want to rebel, then I'm okay with that. It could be a lot worse."

Once I picked my jaw up off the floor, she went on to give me two conditions - 1)She would research and find a safe, clean place and 2) She would go with me.

So I went to get my tongue pierced with my Mom and my sister. My poor sister (12 years old at the time) about passed out when they drove that needle through my tongue. She actually doesn't have any piercings beside her ears even now....hmmmm...something tells me my Mom is even smarter than I thought.

The best part of this story is that I applied to and was accepted to Kentucky Christian University just a few months later. A small Christian college where...surprise, surprise...no piercings were allowed. Yep, I had like three glorious months of rebellion.

Good Parenting:

I wish I knew the details of this story a little better, but Shawn has become very suspicious when I start asking details about stories of his childhood. Something about me posting me the tack story on the blog or something...but here goes...

When Shawn was either a junior or senior in high school, he had a band called Detour that was actually a pretty big deal in their area (and yes, if he's reading this, he's rolling his eyes and probably wondering where the heck I'm going with it). He was also in his school's marching band. Shawn's high school was a pretty small school and most of the kids had grown up from kindergarten together. As I've mentioned before, Shawn's Dad is a minister, and Shawn grew up with a reputation of being a pretty good kid. He got great grades and pretty much stayed out of trouble. By the time he was in his late high school years, this combination led to him being able to pretty much do whatever he wanted. I'm amazed at the stuff he got away with.

Apparently one day Shawn and his bandmates decided they wanted to have some fun with their football game's halftime show. Instead of dressing up in those cute little marching band uniforms with those hats with the feathers sticking out, they decided to - get this....

do a KISS show.

I'm not kidding. Yep..that KISS. Yep, full costume and makeup, and I think even fireworks at the end. Seriously. And now, if I know Shawn, he's sticking up his pointer and pinky fingers, nodding his head back and forth, and rocking out to some KISS song in his head.

Did I mention his Dad is a preacher? I don't entirely know the full details of the story, but I know that when Shawn asked his parents for permission, their reaction was very similar to my Mom's. And not at all what Shawn expected. I think they realized that they had a basically good kid on their hands who - while sweetly mischeveous - never worried his parents with any real trouble.

I wish I had pictures of this show, I really do. I've seen them, and it's awesome. We're talking platform boots and everything.

So what do these stories have in common - besides illustrating to you that two complete nerds can find true love? Our parents knew when to reign in our tendencies and when to trust our independence.

Bad parenting:

In stark contrast to our parents, who knew when to allow us to test our boundaries and when to reign us in, I decided that it'd be a good idea to give my nine month old a pen with which to play. While he's fine and no harm's been done...I wouldn't recommend, as a practice, giving your babies sharp objects to distract and amuse them once they're able to turn those objects around in their hands and point the sharp side straight towards their eye. Don't get me wrong - my instincts are usually pretty good about this kind of thing...just not this particular day apparently. So for future reference: baby + sharp objects + momentary Mommy brain loss = DANGER.

See? Not only do you get sound parenting advice by reading this blog, but I like to throw a little Algebra at ya - just to keep you on your toes.

As I mentioned, no pens went in anyone's eyes, but he did try:

My foot was also likewise decorated. And just so we're clear:


baby + sharp object + momentary Mommy brain loss = DANGER!

"take THAT, mommy!"

No sooner had I posted these words:

You're also not the hugest fan of the sweet potato puffs yet, but you do enjoy practicing picking them up (although really, you just hit it several times until it sticks to your hand).

...when Jude woke up and it was time to eat. I sat him in his cool orangey dottey highchair and proceeded to feed him the goodness that his homemade baby food. Which means it was probably one cube of avocados, one cube of papaya, one cube of potatoes, and one cube of kiwi...or some other ridiculously random combination of fruits and vegetables that depends entirely on my mood earlier that morning when I pull the cubes out of the freezer to thaw.

Phew. Run on sentence, much?

And my stubborn little kiddo just would NOT eat his food from the spoon. He would seriously clamp his lips shut and turn his head like, "are you kidding me?! papaya?? do you see any OTHER nine month olds eating papaya?

...hippie."

So I gave up and in a last ditch effort, sprinkled some of those sweet potato puffs across his tray. And do you know what that kid did?

He took his chubby little thumb and pointer finger and carefully, very carefully, he moved it toward a puff. He clamped that little thumb and pointer finger together on the puff. Then ever so slowly, he moved the clamped puff toward his face. Then he used his other chubby little hand to help guide the puff to his mouth. Very slowly, he put the puff in his mouth.

I watched in amazement as he started to chew the puff and dove in for another. One after the other, he at at least ten or twelve puffs this way - always using both hands to guide the puff to his mouth, and leaving his hands over his mouth as he chewed as if to say, "I have a super secret ninja puff eating skill that we can't let ANYone else know about."

After four or five puffs, I realized that this is a huge deal and quite a milestone, so like any other self-respecting first time Mom, I whipped out the video camera and quickly texted Shawn of this amazing feat. I wish I could upload the video, but Blogger's being kind of a butt, so it'll have to wait for another day.

So wow, huh? I have a self feeder on my hands. Good thing, too. One time at Matt and Patrice's house, I put a bit of tomato sauce on my finger to let Jude have a taste, and it apparently gave him the shimmies. We all thought it was too cute, so I kept doing it, and after every taste - he'd shimmie. Since then, smartypants has decided that he'll trust NOTHING coming at him from my hands. Most of the time, he'll take food on a spoon from me, but if I try to finger feed him anything, I get the "over my dead body" look.

Why hello there, world of self-feeding thank you for inviting us to join you - you look quite pleasant!

a letter to jude

Dear Jude,

Today, sweet son, you are nine months old. Nine months ago today, I gave birth to this:

the sweetest, cutest, grossest thing I'd seen in my entire life. And now, sweet Jude...two teeth, blonder hair, and adorable giggles later, we have this:

This past month with you has been awesome, kiddo. Do you remember the time Mommy and Daddy took you to the park and swung (swang?swinged?) with you? Do you remember the time you giggled at Cole floppin' around on the floor? Do you remember the time Mommy chased you saying, "I'm a getch you!" when you crawled froggy flopped across the floor? Do you remember the time you stuck your hand up in the air and waved "hello" to Katie? Do you remember the time you reached out to me and wanted me to hold you? Do you remember the time I was chopping up some food to put in the processor for you in the kitchen and you pulled up on my shorts and zerberted my knee?

We've had some great times together, haven't we? You're a joy to be around, and you make mine and Daddy's hearts burst with love. Do you even know what we do? Sometimes, after you go to bed at night, Daddy and I talk all about you. We like to share the funny stuff you did that day, and sometimes we even spend our time watching videos of you doing cute stuff. I know you think we probably party it up out in the living room while you're sleeping, but the truth is...we spend our time away from you...well, loving you.

You're starting to walk by pushing your little roaring lion around, and you're a pulling up machine. You've discovered a passionate interest in electrical cords, and an intense dislike for being left in a room by yourself. You've had all kinds of crazy food- papaya, avocados, cauliflower, potatoes, peas, kiwi, strawberries, and the list goes on - and you've decided that you're not a big fan of green beans, but you love you some bananas. You're also not the hugest fan of the sweet potato puffs yet, but you do enjoy practicing picking them up (although really, you just hit it several times until it sticks to your hand). And you ARE a big fan of the organic biter biscuits. I'm loving whoever invented those, 'cause it'll keep you occupied for a good fifteen minutes.

Sweet Judeabug, you're saying, "Mama" with proficiency, and you're working on the "puh...puh...puh" of Puppy. Even though we say it a million times a day, you've not shown any interest in saying, "Daddy" yet, but you sure do know who I'm talking about when I say it, and your excitement at his arrival is pretty stinkin' adorable.

It's crazy to see you growing and learning so much, sweetie. Daddy and I want you to know that we love you so much more than you know, and we're so very proud of who you're becoming. We're so thankful that God gave you to us, and we're so very excited to be a part of what He's doing in your life.

We love you, Jude. Forever. :)

go ahead and admit it...

We have the cutest kid in the world.



It's okay. I won't tell your niece/nephew/child/grandchild/bestfriend'schild.

i want to remember this forever

Last night was bath night, and since Shawn had a meeting, I was flying solo. Bath nights are fun in the Maurer household, as Jude loves the water and has recently perfected his splashing Mommy and Daddy skills. Like every other bathtime, Jude was holding his Ducky in one hand and the Squeezy Ball in the other (and yes, Squeezy Ball needs to be capitalized. It is indeed a proper noun in our household). And then my sweet Jude who is stillmybaby but growinguptoofastintotoddlerhood began a game with me. It went like this - Jude took the Squeezy Ball and splashed really hard for three or four splashes. Then he rested the Squeezy Ball on the side of the tub where I squeezed it to make farty noises a couple of times. Jude laughed. Mommy laughed. Then the Squeezy Ball went back into the tub with Jude where he splashed again. Then back on the side of the tub for the farty noises. Then Jude laughed. Then Mommy laughed.

This was his game. A game he started entirely by himself, by the way. We played this game for probably ten rounds, each of us laughing harder and harder each time. I was watching his sweet eyes - full of joy and trust, and looking at his eyelashes all wet and stuck together from his bath, and thought -

"I want to remember this forever."

I tried to soak up every last detail - Jude's chubby fingers gripping the Squeezy Ball, the smell of the baby shampoo, Jude's open mouth noiseless laugh, those crinkles around his eyes when he smiled, the softness of his baby skin, the sound of the water splashing, and most importantly - the feeling of being sure my heart couldn't handle anymore love and would surely burst right out of my chest.

I know it's not the same, but I wonder if this is what Mary was doing in Luke 2:19:

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

That simple game and Jude's boundless joy will be with me forever - a part of who I am, a part of who he is, and just a small, timeless piece of my ever-growing love for him. I'm so grateful to be a part of Jude's milestones - to see him crawling, laughing, talking, and walking for the first time. But maybe more importantly, though, I'm glad to be here for the mundane things in his life. Things like a simple game that has us both giggling and makes me say, "I want to remember this forever."

groceries and jumping

jude tames the lion

Apparently I'm all about taking and posting the videos lately! Please enjoy watching my rough and tumble son as he tames this ferocious lion. As you'll hear, he's taken to grunting and fake coughing to get attention and express himself. He was rolling over by four weeks, I think we can cut him some slack in the talking department.

Shawn and I had a lovely and much needed date night last week. Here's Jude after we got him ready to go hang out at Jenn's for the afternoon:

And then we headed to WalMart to stock up on contraband snacks.

Which we took with us to see "Up" in 3D. Very cute movie!


Then we went to Applebees' for some dinner and picked up the boy. We did our best to not talk about Jude, and actually did relatively well. Hopefully now that Jude's on a more consistent routine and is a little more easy going, we can make this date night thing a habit!

peek a boo

Yes, I know he spit up towards the end of the video and I did not, in fact, rush to clean it up. Such is life with a reflux kid. If I cleaned him up right away after every spit up, I wouldn't do anything else. It's best to wait and see if that's the end or if he's got more comin'. You'll be happy to know that I did pick him up right after I stopped videoing and cleaned him. :)

jude pulls up!

A couple of weeks ago, Jude learned how to pull up on his "Bumbo." He's all about it now - pulling up on anything and everything on which he can get his hands! A few disclaimers 1)in the second video, Jude biffs - twice- it's funnier the second time, keep watching 2) sorry 'bout the baby cleavage in the second one. the combination of his pacifier clip pulling the shirt down and his drool/spit up making the front of his shirt soggy means his shirts end up about halfway down his stomach most of the time.


I love how he acts so nonchalant...like he reaches huge milestones every day of the week.





Jude has been doing GREAT lately. He's so much fun as he's interacting more with us. Jude's continuing to sleep from about 8:00pm to about 7:00am every night and he's also continuing to get on a semi-predictable nap schedule. Around 9:00am he takes a nap that's usually 30 mins -60 mins, then around 12:30 he'll take a nap that's 1.5 hours - 2.5 hours (he only took a 2.5 hour nap once, but oh- it was glorious!), and then around 4:00 he'll take a nap that depends entirely on how he's slept throughout the day. If he didn't get a long nap in earlier, he'll take a long nap - if he did get a long nap in earlier, he'll take another 30 min nap.

Not that you asked for those details about Jude's napping schedule, but I'm just SO pleased that he's stopped taking five 20-min naps a day!

Now that we're not worried about his weight, it's nice to focus on just loving Jude and taking care of him. Both of which are definitely our joy.

letter to jude

Dear Jude,



Today, sweet boy, you are eight months old. Daddy and and I can hardly believe how quickly you're growing! In the past month, you've learned how to crawl, how to pull up, how to stick your tongue out and blow raspberries, and how to prettymuch be the cutest boy in the world.



I asked Daddy if he wanted me to relay anything to you, and he wants to say, "You're my best buddy, Jude, and I really love hanging out with you." You definitely have turned from a non-responsive (adorable, but non-responsive) infant to a joyful, interactive toddler. I love watching your face light up when Mommy or Daddy come into the room, and it really is cool to see how much you smile (trying to show off those two impressive bottom teeth, I guess).



Just the other day, you were playing happily while I was cutting fabric. You had pulled up on this play piano toy and were having a blast playing the keys with your stomach and grabbing the toys on top. Out of the blue you stopped, turned to look at me, stuck your tongue out, and smiled. Your face broke out in a grin when I smiled back at you and said, "Hey baby," and then you went on your merry way, playing with your piano again.



In the past month, you've also continued to consistently sleep through the night, AND...you've started taking long naps! Instead of waking up crying, you're waking up and babbling or playing with your pacifier. Looks like we're all very happy with this long nap taking thing, huh?



Eight months ago, you changed our lives, Jude. You've stolen my heart, dear boy, and I pray you never give it back.

Serwa Chic

...I know that while many of you are excited about what I'm doing with Serwa Chic, not all of you check the Serwa Chic Blog often (totally understandable - especially if you're not particularly interested in cloth diapering). Still, this whole business thing is a big part of what's going on with our family, so I thought I'd update you on the happenings. Yes, I copied and pasted this from the Serwa Chic blog. I'm a busy gal, gimmie a break!

Oh my, have I been busy! You know, I never thought of my myself as an entrepreneur (and just in case you're wondering - yes, I did have to look up how to spell that word), but it turns out that I apparently had a latent businesswoman in there, just waitin' to bust out.Thanks to all of your blog comments, facebook comments, and emails - I now have a tagline! It looks like you guys were tied between: Super Chic. Super Cheap. Earth Friendly Diapering and ...for the earth loving, money saving hippie in us all, both of which were my favorites as well. After much thought, I ended up deciding on......

...for the earth loving, money saving hippie in us all

mostly because it makes me laugh. :) You all gave me such great ideas, and I really did have so much fun thinking through the possibilities.In other news, I also now have an official website! No longer do I need to direct people to a blog to get information (which can get confusing - having to scroll down and find the right entry to find info is a pain), I can now tell people to visit http://www.serwachic.com/! How cool is that?!

One of the reasons it took me so long to get a website up and running was because I wasn't sure how to allow people to order from the website. After looking at a ton of ecommerce solutions and packages, I decided to integrate my "Products" page with hyenacart. I figured it was silly to pay a ton of money (which would translate in having to charge more) for an ecommerce package when hyenacart works great, can be customized to fit in really well with the website, and has very low fees. With hyenacart, you can pay with PayPal, Credit Card, Bank Account, Check, or Money Order. So to order, check out the Products page of our new website, and if anything is a pain or confusing - please let me know and I'll do my best to fix it.

It might be hard to believe that news could get ANY more exciting than a new tagline and a new website, right? Oh, but that's where you'd be wrong, my friend. You see, Serwa Chic Fitted Diapers will soon be stocked at O Baby Organics in Winston-Salem, NC! Can you believe it?! I'm working my rear-end off at the moment to get the diapers made as quickly as possible and am really looking forward to seeing them stocked in a store. I would include lots of exclamation points at this point, but it would require at least two hundred to express my excitement, so we'll just suffice it to say that I'm SUPER excited! Hmmm...could I use a form of the word "excited" any more times in a paragraph?

4th of July

We had such a fantastic 4th of July this year! Shawn's Mom and Nan (Grandma) came down to stay with us for the weekend. We always love having family visit (yep, you can officially count that as a hint to all you Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and Grandparents), and it was really nice to get to spend a holiday with family. Since none of us were really excited about braving the crowds to watch fireworks (and Jude goes down for the night around 8:30), we were happy to have a low-key cookout at the house and watch some fireworks on TV later that night.


"Oh man, you guys are the funniest!"

Aunt Robin, Mamma, Shawn, Jude, Nan, and Jay
Mamma brought Jude back a cute little train from Disney World - Jude loves it!

..he shows his affection by trying to eat it.

...Jude certainly enjoyed "talking." :)

bath time giggles

There's no denying the "boy-ness" of our son. I was squeezing the nasal aspirator in the water, making "farty" noises...and this was the result.

rockin' the 1st percentile

We had a weight check this past Tuesday for Jude, and our little bug weighed in at 15lbs 7oz and 25.5 inches. He's still in the first percentile, but that's actually good news. Doc says that he's gaining weight, but since he's holding steady in the lower range, it probably means he's just a small baby. The fact that his growth curve is consistent and his head is growing just fine both indicate that we most likely are NOT dealing with a metabolic disorder. We had been holding back on the solid food in order to give him as much calorie rich milk as possible, but we now have permission to give him as many solids as he'll take. Bring on the carrots!

I'm sure you can imagine our relief at finally getting some good news after a weight check. Jude seems thoroughly unaffected by everything and is continuing to crawl, wiggle, pull up, and laugh as if nothin's going on.

Jude and I are both incredibly excited that Shawn's finally back from almost two weeks of youth trips. It's hard to describe without getting all mushy how much I missed him, so we'll just leave it with -I missed my best friend and partner. I do, however, have much respect for the single mothers of the world. Being by myself with Jude - sans family down here - was hard. I barely had time to eat most days, and did my best to cram all the work I needed to get done into the 3.5 hours between him going down for the night and me collapsing. I think the most difficult thing was not having someone to pass Jude off to when I found myself at the end of my rope. If we're having a tough day, I usually tell myself, "It's okay. Shawn will be home in five hours, and then you'll have a break. You can make five hours, you can totally do this," (counting down of course, each passing hour) and not having that option was tough. Nonetheless, Jude and I both survived, and I felt a little bit more confident in my mothering and coping skills at the end.

I've included some random pictures - nothing exciting - we were just outside to give Jude a change of pace, and I took advantage of the beautiful sunlight.

He's been sticking his tongue out and kind of covering his bottom two teeth with it. Shawn thinks he's feeling his two teeth with his tongue, I think he thinks he's sticking his tongue out like we do to him. Either way, it's pretty cute.

hi ho, hi ho, it's off to camp we go

This summer is the first summer since I was in 3rd grade that I did not attend or volunteer at camp. Go ahead and call me crazy, but I love me some camp. Even last year, when I was fairly rotund, I still managed to haul my baby carrying self to our church's Jr. High week of camp. I love camp. I love the bunks, I love the lack of technology, I love the time with God through nature, I love the food, I love not wearing make up, I love the zipline, I love being a team leader, I love teaching, I love seeing the same kids coming back year after year and watching them grow. I love me some camp.

This year, though, Jude and I stayed home during camp week and Shawn enjoyed a camp vacation filled with bug bites, sleepless nights, communal showering, and Jr. High kids who haven't quite figured out the wonders of deodorant yet. Jude and I have missed the mess out of Shawn (really, really, really missed him!), but we were able to visit Shawn at camp for the day - thanks to our friend Katie, who let us go with her. Even though it was Jude's first (I guess technically second) time at camp, he knew just what to do.

First things first. Staying hydrated at camp is very important. What Jude doesn't know is that bottle is actually chock full of caffeine. Lesson Number Two? Staying highly caffeinated at camp is also very, very important.

Once you're thoroughly hydrated, it's important that you socialize with other campers. A great way to do so is to play the ever popular game - carpetball.

To really get into the camp spirit, you can even sign your name on the carpetball table or the walls!

You can't forget the awesome teaching and worship times at camp. It's important to pay attention...and to not play with your shoe.

We also got to eat lunch with Daddy and the kids, where Jude was introduced to the fun table games we play at camp during mealtimes. We had a lot of fun, and it was really nice to see Shawn for a little bit. This one wasn't taken at camp, but I just couldn't resist including his cute kissable cheeks -

If you have a free minute, head over the Serwa Chic blog and help me pick a tagline for the business. I'm terribly stuck and indecisive about this - I've been waffling back and forth for days. I'd love to know your opinion : help me pick a serwa chic tagline.