We officially don't use a monitor for Jude any longer - he's turning into such a big boy! We stopped using a monitor for nap times several months ago, and we were really only using it so we would hear when he woke up in the morning, or if he woke up in the middle of the night. I started noticing that I wasn't sleeping as well at night because every move or sound he'd make woke me up (even with the monitor turned low), so we made the move. We turned off the monitors. We leave our bedroom door cracked so we can hear him in the morning, and one of us always wake up within a minute or two of hearing him. We're both sleeping better, and it's just nice to not have the constant hum of that monitor! Of course, I do fully realize that our monitor-free days are destined to only last a few months. And then...we start all over again.
Jude's babbling has only gotten cuter, as he's now starting to make faces when he's talking - as if he's really earnest about the "conversation" we're having.
I'm starting to think about what changes will happen in Jude's life when this baby gets here and trying to do what I can to transition him now. For instance, I won't be able to carry two kiddos in and out of the car every time we go somewhere, so we've been working on teaching Jude to walk to the car door (in the garage), and even climb in. We've also been working on having him walk (holding our hand) into stores, church, etc. so I can carry the baby and Jude can walk beside me.
I'm concerned about my ability to nurse the baby AND keep Jude from sky diving off of furniture, so I've been working on getting him to listen to me without me getting up and physically removing him from the situation. That's not going as well as I'd like, but we're working on it!
When I finish up my full time job at the end of May, I plan on taking a month or two and working on potty training. I know Jude may not be ready, and that's fine - bit I figure I'll give it a shot before the baby gets here at a time when I'm able to fully concentrate on being consistent. How great would it be to have him potty trained by 20 months? (Not likely, I know, but I am holding out hope).
The problem with this is - I've never had two kids, and certainly not two kids so close in age. SO...help me out here. What are things I can help Jude adjust to now? What are some of the biggest challenges with having two young ones? What am I missing? Seriously - help me! I know I won't be able to completely prepare Jude, but I'd like to do what I can so that his little world is rocked as little as possible.
joey the puppy
6 years ago
If he doesn't have a baby doll already, you should get him one and start "caring" for it now...then when the baby arrives Jude can take care of his baby while you care for yours. :)
ReplyDeleteWOw, wish I could help you out but I only have one child. I have many "logistical" questions like this too for when/if we are blessed with another adoption.
ReplyDeleteHonestly Jen... My older 2 boys are 21 months apart, and I never even thought about how to prepare Jake for Noah's arrival! They've managed well, and your boys will too! Don't panic, even if you do nothing to prepare big brother Jude (or are we just really bad parents?), they'll both turn out just fine. If I had to think about it, I'd say have Jude start helping you with things now... get him involved... then it won't be such a big transition for him when he's "helping" with his brother. I used to have Jake bring me a diaper, a toy, things like that when I was taking care of Noah... that way I wasn't totally ignoring him, and I didn't have to get up all the time with a baby in my arms. :)
ReplyDeleteAngelia said...
ReplyDeleteMy boys are close together. That was 14 years ago but, I do remember that all my worries never happened when the 2nd child got here.
Sometimes I nursed walking around, or while reading to #1. The 1st one sat in the shower with me, while #2 sat in the bouncy seat beside the shower. #2 in stroller and #1 in a backpack. My babies didn't like front packs.
Rest when anybody naps. Don't worry about the mess, the dishes, or anything. Your friends have a messy house too and if they tell you different- they lie! On # 2's 1st birthday, give Jude a gift. He is too little to understand that the world doesn't revolve around him. Brother got gifts so he will think he should too. I know you are not all about gifts, me either, but A friend did that for me and the gift helped everyone enjoy the birthday.
Honestly, Jude is so young that it won't be a big deal. He will quickly forget life before his brother. The only suggestion I have is find something, anything, that just the two of you do. It could be a walk, it could be a secret sign or just about anything. With Dawson, I gave nose kisses. I never gave Tait nose kisses. I found other special things that were just for Tait and I. Dawson could see that nose kisses were our special way of loving each other and nothing and no one could change it. It was my simple way of saying, "Life=change but I will love you the same."
ReplyDeleteHey Guy! I just read your blog about issues with having a 2nd boy. My sister-in-law had our nephew on wednesday and honestly how they went about preparing my niece for him was amazing and seriously the best way I have seen with a 2nf child coming in. They are 2 years apart. She started the whole potty training thing by asking her if she needs to and now she is asking to go potty when she isn't busy doing something and right after she got to see baby boy she asked to go potty. The other thing they did was a month before they gave her a big girls bed when she was with us and when she got home she was so surprised she had a big girl bed that she didn't even think about her crib being gone, this was a great transition, they also got the baby boys room ready with the door closed, so far this is a smooth transition. The other thing was about nursing and this was a fear for Richelle, and baby boy nursed for the first time while Gianna was there and she could have cared less what was going on. They have been really disciplining her and she already walks to the car alone and all of that, but the main thing was if she wanted something and someone else had the baby the other paid attention to her needs. She is very independent for her age and the transition was amazing! I have no idea where she got her ideas but they were all great and seem to be working well! We also made sure that when we were out with her and in the family restaurant that when a baby came in we made sure to associate the baby with the new baby coming this worked well and when she got to see him for the first time she was so excited and jumped right in with helping with the baby.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking like Trish and Amanda.. I have different lullabies for each one... I did sing Tori's to Belle but that started cuz she asked me to, she said she wanted to share it! <3 I also have different kisses that I give each of them... like start on their forehead move to nose then lips... or cheek cheek lips, you get the idea...
ReplyDeleteAnd something else too maybe with the doll or separate is you could get Jude a big brother toy... something he gets when the baby is born and he plays with it when he does big brother things, like bringing you a diaper and such.
In any matter he's going to do great!
We didn't do a lot to prepare Miles, because he's so young (they're 19 months apart).
ReplyDeleteA few things we did do:
-Had him play with his baby doll some as we put together baby gear or put it back out in the living area.
-Got him a special Big Brother gift for when Spencer arrived, so that he got something special on the big day.
-Put back a few toys he got for Christmas so that I could bring them out for entertainment during the first few weeks with the new baby.
Luckily, Miles is really good at playing by himself, so he doesn't have to have one of us sitting right next to him all the time. He brings me books to read and we'll read while I'm nursing Spencer. That works really well until he gets into a mood (which means it's Naptime).
I had to put away the DVDs from the living room. We never watch them, so they went into a box in a closet. He was pulling them out all the time and generally driving me nuts. Next I have to put the DVD player away. It's way too low and he's constantly opening and closing the DVD drawer. He has stopped climbing on the coffee table though!
I highly suggest getting a good baby wrap. I haven't used mine a ton yet at home, but only because we're just now starting to get into a good nursing groove, good enough that I think I'll start trying to nurse him in the Moby. But until we do, it would be a pain to take it off and on all day. But that would really help you be hands-free to play with Jude.
It sounds like what you're doing is great! Every child is different, so the things that challenge me with 2 under 2 might not be the same for you. You will be a fabulous Mommy Of Two and Jude will be an awesome big brother!