Just kidding! I was making cookies and Jude held onto the butter for me until I was ready for it.I've been thinking a lot lately about Jude's lack of weight gain and honestly, feeling pretty guilty. I'm not sure how I didn't notice that he was "failing to thrive," and I'm not quite sure how to tell if he's struggling in the future. Jude's a really active infant, and his activity level stayed constant throughout this whole thing. He wasn't particularly lethargic or sleepy acting. He also rarely roots, so that's never been a good indication either. Even weighing him every morning seems to only further confuse me. For instance, Jude weighed 12 lbs even yesterday. This morning - weighed at the same time, in the same kind of diaper - he weighed 11.4 lbs. Did he really lose over half a pound in a day?!
I didn't know that my baby was hungry - starving. I made choices based on my best guesses of why he was fussing, and I was apparently often wrong. I'm struggling with second guessing all my choices now and am wondering when I'll ever know Jude as it seems a mother should. I was reading the other day that I should be able to distinguish Jude's cries by now. I have to be honest - I have NO idea what he needs by the sound of his cry. I can only guess based on the timing: if it's about time to fall asleep, to eat, to play with another toy, etc. Obviously that's not the most effective way to figure out his needs, since that was my method when he stopped gaining weight.
Anyway, I'm blessed that he's basically a healthy kid, just a little frustrated at the moment with trying to figure out how exactly to tell when he's hungry or when he's just tired or gassy. Advice or insight would be thoroughly appreciated!
Please continue praying for Matt and Patrice. I just checked their blog this morning, and Jonah apparently took 4cc of milk! That was one of the primary things for which Patrice was asking prayers, and I don't think that's a coincidence. So please pray that he'd continue to eat well and that God would protect his little body from infection.
Oh Jen. I could write several pages about the Mommy Guilt that I have experienced in Miles's 7 short months of life!
ReplyDeleteBabies cry, and not just because they're hungry. So please don't beat yourself up because you are worried that every time he cries it's because he is starving. And don't let anyone else beat you up about it (*cough* IhaveMotherissues *cough*). You can drive yourself crazy worrying about that. You're not to blame for his weight problems. Your milk supply was compromised and when you're with your child every day, it's hard to miss the subtle changes in their crying and fussiness.
My best advice about determining what kind of cry Jude is crying is to get on some form of a routine (not a schedule, a routine). Have you read the Baby Whisperer? She advocates an E.A.S.Y. routine (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You Time). We did that for several months, right around 3-4 months, and let me tell you, it really helped! It really took a lot of the guesswork out of what could be troubling Miles when he cried.
Thanks, Krista - it does help to know I'm not alone in feeling guilty. I have looked into the Baby Whisperer and we kind of fell into that routine naturally, so it's one we stick to. It worked well for us until my milk supply went so low. He'd start crying around the time he was supposed be sleeping, and I assumed he was sleepy - so I'd fight for him to take a nap. Looking back, I think he was hungry again. He'd also wake up from his naps early a lot...I thought he was having a tough time transitioning between sleep cycles, so I'd work to get him back to sleep...when he was probably waking up b'c of hunger again.
ReplyDeleteAt least I know NOW, though...you know? I know that when he wakes up from a nap, it's time to eat.